Factors that lead to having an affair

Most common factors that drive people to having an affair

Piece by: DORIS NJOKI
Lifestyle

• An ex that you had intimacy with can be a huge threat to your marriage, especially if you didn't fully end things.

• Failing to attend to your partner's emotional needs will see your partner get someone else who values them more willing to do so

Couple fighting
Image: Photos for class

1. RUSHED MARRIAGES

In most cases, many people are getting married for society, for their parents, because they had a baby together or just to be called husband and wife.

This rush into marriage or getting married for the wrong reasons will lead you to struggle to be faithful as you married a stranger or someone you don't connect with.

2. BAD COMPANY

The wrong friends will incite you to be unfaithful and even cover up for you because most likely they are also having affairs.

They might as well give bad advice about your significant other which might lead to unnecessary fights. Surround yourself with friends who will keep you accountable.

3. UNFINISHED BUSINESS

An ex that you had intimacy with can be a huge threat to your marriage, especially if you didn't fully end things.

You will find yourself running to him/her when things between you and your spouse are bad, and due to history, things can get intimate very quickly.

Close the door to your past. If you are weak, block your ex and don't let your spouse who is your present and future, be uncomfortable about your past

4. INTIMACY FRUSTRATION

Denying your partner conjugal rights will only lead to frustration that makes you vulnerable to temptation.

5. PERSISTENT DISAGREEMENTS

If you two keep arguing over the same issue, you will grow apart. Soon, you will find someone of the opposite gender to vent to and who will make you feel more understood than your spouse does.

This might lead to an affair therefore couples should learn to solve issues quickly and seek to understand each other, keeping off the little foxes.

6. WORKING ENVIRONMENT

Your working environment can as well contribute as a factor that may bring up an affair. Allow your spouse to know your close colleagues.

Be deliberate about spending time with your spouse by coming home early. Take a shower immediately when you get home to present your spouse with a fresh you.

7. LUST

Lust makes you self-centered and leads to intimacy addiction. This will lead you to use multiple people even when you have someone you should be committed to.

The cure for lust is love. Learn to ignore messages, social media Groups, and intimate talks that fuel lust.

8. EMOTIONAL NEGLECT

Failing to attend to your partner's emotional needs will see your partner get someone else who values them more willing to do so. Be cautious and considerate about how they feel.

Sad, tears
Sad, tears

9. LONG DISTANCE

 

Distance exposes you both to potential temptation as it robs you face to face interaction which grows intimacy.

If you lack self-discipline, you might fall for someone physically close to you to take the place of the one who is far from you.

If you are in a long-distance relationship/marriage, use technology to communicate often, and be accountable to each other about where you are and with who.

You should ensure to work on ending the season of being far from each other soon.

10. CAREER

Some careers will put you in intimacy-charged environments or cause you to travel a lot and if you are weak, you will have intimate encounters with others.

11. REVENGE

Some people become unfaithful because their spouse was/is unfaithful. You might think that you are punishing your spouse but you are stooping low as you abandon your principles.

Just because you are hurt doesn't mean you go out of character. Don't let your spouse's mistakes make you become who you are not

12. REPEATING THE SAME ROUTINE

When you do something over and over at some point you will get bored. Find something fun to do as a couple like playing games eg monopoly.

You can also go for road trips visit new restaurants once in a while etc. Don't just reduce yourself to doing chores and paying bills.

13. IDENTITY CRISIS

If you have low self-esteem and doubt yourself, it is easy to use your desirability to give you a confidence boost.

As a man, you will find yourself pursuing multiple women to have intimacy with them just to prove you can.

As a woman, you will find yourself entertaining men, flirting with them, and having intercourse with them to see if truly you are beautiful.

Find yourself and love yourself. When you are lost, you will hurt those around you, especially your spouse

14. PORNOGRAPHY

Once your mind gets used to desiring images and videos of porn stars, soon, your mind will want real intimacy with others as you have trained it to desire more than your spouse.

Teach your mind to focus on your spouse alone. Stop allowing porn to distract you

15. FALSE ACCUSATIONS

Some people get so disappointed that their spouse accuses them of cheating so they go on to cheat to prove their spouse right.

This solves nothing but compounds problems in marriage. If you know you are innocent, assure your spouse to help deal with his/her fears and insecurities.

The opinions expressed in this article are the writer's own. Do you agree or disagree?

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