As Kenyans, every December a weird phrase comes up. “nipee christmas” or “niachie christmas”. You can’t miss it unless you live alone in a 50 acre farm with no animals. Then again, you’d probably catch it on TV or Radio.
Fam, there are several instances that you will hear this
- “Babe si unipe Christmas?” Yes, if you are the richer one in the relationship you are going to hear this phrase.
- “Niaje boss… si unipee ka Christmas?” Parking in Kenya is a nightmare. Every watchman feels entitled to your money for doing their job. From now on I’ll buy a skateboard so that I avoid watchman tax.
- “Daddy…. Si utununulie Christmas?” If you have kids… sorry. As a digression, why do the black santas in our malls have long white beards. Njuguna Claus, tafadhali! Hizo ndevu sio zako…
- “Umetuletea Christmas?” Going upcountry is always a struggle. People tend to assume that you are a prosperous person who has money to blow. You become like a mini politician because everybody wants you to deal with their problems.
- “Si uniwachie change ya Christmas?” Bartenders and shopkeepers are guilty of this. It’s like I have earned extra money during the festive season. Stop this!!
- “Uko na Christmas kidogo?” …popular with beggars
- “There is a special Christmas offering?” …at church
- “Si ufanye tuu kazi over Christmas?” …your boss
December is a hectic period where you can end up spending more than you budgeted for. As a result, I’m staying home and not interacting with my fellow Kenyans who will use Christmas as an excuse to extort me of my hard earned cash.
Otherwise, hao ndio wanafaa wanipatie Christmas.