'I hide my troubles behind my smile...' Last words of college student before suicide

A series of worrying posts by Monny Muthoni were missed by many

• Monny Muthoni left a lot of hints about her mental status. She also wrote about the death of someone she calls her twin sister.

• Before she took her life she really fought to stay alive, on her Facebook page, she repeatedly posted, "The sun will rise tomorrow and we will try again."

Monny Muthoni took her own life
Gone too soon: Monny Muthoni took her own life
Image: FACEBOOK

The late Monny Muthoni's happiest day on earth was when she turned 17 years old. She was super ecstatic that she took to her social media and posted, "My best day in life."

This was 8 years ago.

After that, life was not kind to her and all her posts were a cry for help that everyone seemed to have missed up to the point where she took her own life on May 12, 2022.

Before she took her life she really fought to stay alive, on her Facebook page, she repeatedly posted, "The sun will rise tomorrow and we will try again."

It seems like she really, really tried to fight her demons and face each day at a time.

However, on May 12 at 9:35 pm, she posted two alarming messages that read.

"Dear World, I am leaving because I am bored, I feel I have lived long enough. I am leaving you with your worries in this sweet cesspool. I tried. No more pains. Wake no more. Nobody owns [knows]"

Adding, "I am going to put myself to sleep now for a bit longer than usual. Call time eternity...I"

The message is left hanging and unfinished, we will never know what she wanted to say.

Monny Muthoni took her own life
Gone too soon: Monny Muthoni took her own life
Image: FACEBOOK

Monny left a lot of hints about her mental status. She also wrote about the death of someone she calls her twin sister.

Monny paid tribute to her on May 15, 2017, saying, "Having spent a night in the same bed with u siz, I neva knew that would b the last night I would spent with u. I neva knew the prayers we prayed togetha was our last prayers with u on earth...u was, my joy, happiness and the reason I smiled mama....why have u gone so soon? But of all may ur soul rest in peace...I can neva forget the moments we spent togetha on the last day....in heart u will always remain....I will neva enjoy life as I enjoyed with u...R.I.P."

Things got worse for Monny. She even pointed out that "Everyone may hate mi BUT for myself dat [that] is the first and the last nail to my tomb...wat a sabbath it was..."

Adding, "Behind my smile, there is always a sad story you would neva adastad [understand]...merry Christmas."

Here are some of the posts she put up that were a silent cry for help.

  1. Smilling alone is better than laughing with a fake friend...
  2. Smiling doesn't mean ur always happy but sometimes means ur strong.
  3. Be careful wat u tell people. A friend today may be an enemy tomorrow.
  4. I can neva start a losing battle... True to self...
  5. Smiling sometyms it's a weakness...
  6. True to self... Playin my role to the fullest
  7. Silence will Neva hurt me...
  8. Be careful what u tell people. A friend today may be an enemy tomorrow.
  9. When the floodgate of distress is opened it is when I echo wid adastandin [understanding] the words of the psalmist....."save mi O God! For the waters have come upto my neck".

 

Monny Muthoni took her own life
Gone too soon: Monny Muthoni took her own life
Image: FACEBOOK

Netizens reacted to the posts. Here are some of their thoughts.

Ngure Lynnet: All her post had a hidden message in them. I wish someone noted it then. I wish you were my friend maybe just maybe I could have read the hidden message just like I have now and yet I didn't know you, I see a troubled person in all of them...Death was not the solution girl but now that you're gone, may your soul rest in peace. 

Princess Hadhija: No friend REALISED that this lady was distressed

Kind Mwiti: It's a battle she had fought for some time, but eventually lost it. How I wish she opened up to someone and shared. Sad. Rip Monny

Dorcas Kagwiria Kweya: Having read all her posts, it has just left me in tears, I have wished just one of her friends, even the ones she used to tag could just realize the alarming post she has been posting since then. Oh, may God help us to realize and act accordingly when we notice such devastating posts like these ones.

Counselors, medics, and psychologists advise that you can always reach out for help when experiencing any mental health issues. Call Kenya Red Cross toll-free hotline, 1199 for support.

WATCH: For the latest videos on entertainment stories

Check out the latest news here and you are welcome to join our super exclusive Mpasho Telegram group for all the latest and breaking news in entertainment. We would also like to hear from you, WhatsApp us on +254 736 944935.