First date is nerve-wracking for good reason, you don’t get a second chance to make a good first impression.

Which is why psychologists suggest we pay attention when we first meet up with someone because it’s our only true chance to see people as they are, rather than as we’d like them to be.

Tired of ending up with guys who treat you badly? The warning signs are there from the start.

Think long and hard about a second date, if he's doing any of these on the first.

Turning up late and not apologising

Even if it’s just by a few minutes, the first words out of his mouth should be, 'I’m so sorry I’m late!'. followed by a brief explanation as to why.

Saunter in fifteen minutes after the arranged time without a good reason and he might as well not have bothered coming at all.

Wearing clothes that show he's made no effort

 Smelling like he hasn't showered in days, dressed scruffily (not in a good way) with musty breath and a stained shirt…if his hygiene’s this bad on a first date, what it’s going to be like when he's not on best behaviour?

Not standing up if he's there first

Seriously! It’s basic manners for both sexes to stand up to greet someone.

Not planning anything

 We want to hear that he chose the pub/restaurant to impress us, not just because it’s around the corner from where he works. Admitting to making a bit of effort isn’t geeky, it’s flattering.

Turning up really tired 

If he was out all night the night before, it means last night was more important to him than being fresh to enjoy a night with you.

Having obvious mummy issues

If he reveals that he's still living with or too attached to his mother, it's an obvious red flag. Equally as dangerous are men who foam at the mouth with ill-disguised hatred when he mentions her. And why is he mentioning his mother on a first date?

Running into his awful friends

Unlike family, we do choose our friends and if his are people you’d normally cross the street to avoid, it doesn’t bode well.

Turning up drunk or getting wasted

 Fine to have one drink for courage, not fine if he's slurring ‘Hello’.

Sometimes it’s totally the right thing to do to end up drinking way too much and stay out far too late. But you both have to be up for it.

If you’re still on your first glass and he's ordering another bottle, he's got issues with alcohol.

Going off to the loo to do drugs

It really doesn’t matter if you’re pro or anti them, him slinking off to take anything on a first date suggests substance abuse issues.

Talking too loudly 

If he doesn't notice or care that he's disrupting other people’s conversations hints at self-absorption and a big head. (Either that or he has a hearing problem - best check.)

Talking about himself all night

First dates are about getting to know each other and deciding if you have enough in common to forge a relationship.

If he doesn't ask you any questions, it’s clear who’s going to be the prime focus of a relationship. Talking over you when you do get a word in is plain rude; bragging does the opposite to what he's intending.

Swearing a lot

Letting the odd word slip is fine, especially if he's nervous. So is him taking his cue from you if you swear every second sentence.

What’s not attractive is him using particularly offensive slang when he doesn't have a clue what your view is on it.

Being horrible to the waiter

He's arrogant or has self-esteem issues and needs to pick on people who aren’t supposed to answer back to make himself feel better.

Being racist, sexist or homophobic

A crime punishable by you going to the loo and never coming back.

Spending all night playing with his phone

This is the most common and most hated date behaviour of all. His phone should be out of view.

The first black mark is leaving it on the table. Constantly picking it up to check and send messages or check social media without an explanation as to why he needs to is disrespectful.

Taking anything other than emergency calls is another turn-off.

If you spot him flicking through Tinder the second you go to the loo, why bother going back?

Not making eye contact

If he's always looking over his shoulder while you're talking, he might as well say, “You’re boring. I’m keeping my eye out for someone better.”

Bad table manners

Tucking into his meal before yours has even arrived. Talking with his mouth full. Not putting his knife and fork together when finished. Slouching all over the table. If he didn't listen to Mum when she tried to teach him these basics, he's going to call you a nag for even mentioning it.

Ogling other women or flirting with the waitress

Some men seem to think this will make us want them more.

They're sadly mistaken.

Being super critical of the food or service

If it’s all going pear-shaped, it’s quite nice if he acts concerned because he wanted everything to be perfect.

Not so nice is banging fists on the table and making a scene because the mash is a bit lumpy.

Being too eager or territorial 

Launching into how wonderful we are too soon is unflattering: how can he know we’re wonderful, when he doesn't even know us?

Also off-putting is him assuming we’re now his girlfriend because we’ve spent a few hours together.

Talking constantly about an ex

It’s fine to mention past relationship history but telling a two hour story about how his ex left him devastated does not make us want to rescue him.

If he's not over her, why is he out with us?

Even worse: casually mentioning one of his exes has been stalking him for years.

Bad-mouthing all his exes

He really expects us to believe that it’s never once been his fault any of his relationships ended? He just ended up with ‘crackpot’ women? Nutters, all of them. Sure they were.

Clashing on key issues

This one isn’t anyone’s fault but if you’re an avid atheist and he's at church every Sunday, it’s not a match made in anyone’s idea of heaven.

Talking about health problems or addictions

A first date is way too soon to admit to addiction issues or mental struggles. Quite frankly, it’s never really the right time to talk about having gout or a fungal infection in his toenails.

Not offering to pay, unwarranted quibbling about the bill, leaving a lousy tip or none at all

Most couples do split expenses once they’re an item but not even offering to pay when he's done the inviting, is beyond cheap.

Pushing for sex when it’s obvious we’d rather wait

It’s not unusual for couples over 30 to end up finishing a first date in bed and research suggests it neither helps or hinders a relationship developing.

But relentlessly trying to persuade you to go home with him and getting angry or sulky when you refuse is a massive warning sign he's extremely bad news.

Not checking to see if you got home OK

Even if the date wasn't particularly fizzy, he should at least have the courtesy to check you actually made it home, regardless of whether you jumped on a late tube or got into a black cab.