'I was scared and embarrassed to tell people that I was gay,' Indian homosexual narrates

Piece by: Caren Nyota
Lifestyle

Gays, lesbians, bisexuals, and transgenders (LGBT) face a lot of challenges across the world. In some countries, it's illegal to be a member of LGBT and some end going into exile for their own safety.

A proud gay identified as Alex Mathew, aka Maya, aka the drag queen, has for the first time spoken about his life experience as a homosexual.

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sad experience

Maya has revealed that at 14 years old, he started having feelings for boys, at 23 he knew he was homosexual and at 24, he came out of the closet.

He narrated how it has been a tumultuous journey and a first, his parents were upset. His story was first published on BeingyYou. 

Below is the story, read it;

'Even as a child, I was a free bird. I loved singing and dancing and watching movies and acting and reading books. It was only in school that the bullying began, with people telling me I “walk like a lady” and such. I only went to school to study. There was nothing else in it for me,' she wrote in part.

She added;

At 14, I started having feelings towards boys but suppressed them because it was considered wrong in my religion. It was during the end of my time in school that I found out about drag. My first performance was a fancy dress competition and my parents seemed okay with it. After all, it was only a one-time thing. What was the harm?

At 23, I knew I was gay but for a long time I tried to be normal. I was scared and embarrassed to tell people that I was gay.

At 24, I came out of the closet and also began doing drag full time but my parents were far from happy. They debated which was worse - being gay or being a drag queen. It took them about a year and a half to accept my choice and try to understand my life.

The first one and a half years of my journey were tumultuous. My parents were upset, I fell into the wrong company, and went on a spiritual journey. I lost some friends, lost my job, was the butt of all jokes, and was rejected in job interviews because of my decision. People said that I was on my way to become a trans woman. Even today, there are remnants of that period.

It was Maya who gave me the strength to come out of the closet and not be afraid of my sexuality. Maya was the answer to my fear. Maya made me fall in love with myself. Maya made me more confident. Maya even gives me strength to handle break-ups. Sometimes people say they like Alex more or they like Maya more. They don’t realise we are the same. We grow through each other.

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Maya is popular because I am an unapologetic drag queen. To me, drag is sacred. It is about being whoever you want to be and doing whatever you want to do, because you are not afraid to use all the crayons in the box. It is about loving yourself and giving everyone around you the freedom to express themselves. That is how you can love them too.

Today, I am happy that no one is treated like a criminal for their choice of love and partner. Dissolving Section 377 has been a change but there is still a fear in the LGBTQ community to come out in the open. People should be more accepting and organisations should become more inclusive.

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