Muthoni Mukiri narrates how dating a narcissist left her drained and in therapy

Piece by: Peninah Njoki
Lifestyle

Media personality cum content creator Muthoni Mukiri has narrated how she once dated a narcissist something that left her emotionally drained.

Through her YouTube channel, Muthoni said she was in the relationship for two years but it felt like a lifetime.

A narcissist is a person (mostly a man) with an inflated ego about themselves. They are selfish, manipulative and very abusive.

'I dated a narcissist for a couple of years and it was terrible.

I went through so much.

You will go from being the love of their life to nothing you ever do is good enough for them.

They give you mental, physical torture and blame you for it.

I should have left because I saw the red flags the first weeks we started dating.'

Muthoni added,

'Such people love bomb you so much in the initial stages of the relationship.

 They will call you every time, trips, flowers, etc they become too much till you start questioning their love.

I was love bombed and it made me suspicious but I still went on to date him.

When dating a narcissist you are constantly defending yourself, if you 'ignore' or fail to pick their calls or avail themselves.

When someone is too much when you start dating it should rise your eyebrows.'

Muthoni added that her ex wanted her to spend all the time with him and she had to account for what she did, where and with whom.

'He knew from home to work is 10 minutes. If I took 15 minutes it was chaos.

Such men are very controlling, He would tell me to call him once I get home after work.

Woe unto me if I decide to take a shower before I called him, he would start questioning where and who I was with.

There are places I used to go with my friends and he would know everything that happened including who served me yet he was not there.'

Muthoni added that it was so bad that she had to seek professional help from a therapist.

'He was so insecure.

It was hard for me to leave because I did not know I was dating a narcissist , he would read and take screenshots of my messages.

The reason most people don't leave is because they think he will change, he makes you feel like you are the problem.

I went for therapy and cried the whole time as I thought I was the problem. But I know am not.'

She has since moved on.