• Whether platonic or romantic relationships need understanding, patience, and openness in order to flourish

• When you start shutting off due to lack of communication then that is a clear sign of trouble in paradise

having an arguement
An illustration of a couple having an arguement
Image: Courtesy

In any sort of relationship (whether platonic/romantic) when one's emotional needs are ignored, they begin to feel unloved, rejected, or resentful making them feel as if they are forcing issues by being in the other party's life.

This leads to us wanting to protect ourselves from getting hurt by giving up on expressing our emotional needs altogether. 

Coincidentally, some people avoid working on the issues as they feel that the relationship should sort itself out, without noticing what is really going on.

Below are some signs that when ignored can cause any relationship to terribly fall apart

1.  Playing the blame game

When you result to blaming your partner,  instead of communicating how you feel, you make them feel attacked so they will be listening but to defend themselves. 

Or they may choose not to as they feel attacked and will tune their mind to, "you are always complaining."

Also doing/not doing something because your partner acted, in the same manner, is unreasonable and an ingredient for disaster.

2. You react in the heat of the moment

One of the obvious signs a relationship is failing is reacting in the heat of the moment.

Instead of listening and processing what is being said you react by saying the first thing that comes to your mind without caution.

Thus what you are both really trying to communicate gets lost and misconstrued as a personal attack in the argument.

3. You avoid Issues

Instead of addressing issues along the way, many let the issues fester and build up until the problem is out of control in the relationship. It is therefore too late to do something about it. The partner who gets infuriated at your behaviour becomes the person who constantly tells you off or controls you.

After all, no one wants to be told what to do. Otherwise, they will resist that person.

4. You try to avoid conflict

Avoiding conflict can cause a marriage breakdown. If you keep your feelings inside to keep the peace, then you might be giving up yourself or losing yourself in unhealthy relationships.

This can lead to distancing or not caring how your partner feels by disengaging from them or not considering them any more.

5. You make others responsible for your feelings

When unwanted feelings get stirred up, we often blame the person who has triggered them and we demand (mostly without saying) for them to do something about it.

Get you out of the mood that you are in.

Putting our feelings onto our partner and expecting them to make us feel better about ourselves stops us from building our own self-confidence, by relying on them for validation.

So your partner is forever accountable for how you feel, rather than you dealing with the feelings within yourself.

When we need others to feel our own emotions, we stop feeling good about ourselves because we are tired of them. If they do not compliment you today you will think you do not look desirable.

And this causes relationships to fail.

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