1. Back in the day life was much better.

No. It wasn’t. Imagine having the constant risk of being eaten by random animals. Walking to school barefoot made you susceptible to jiggers. Cold showers everyday? Candle lit homework without google? Life really was cruel and barbaric. You had to talk to your girlfriend once a week …….. life was much worse

2. Marriage was better.

No it wasn’t. As men, we could get away with so much because we were umm….. men. Imagine how much development society was denied because women were told to stay in the kitchen as their brothers went to school

3. Modern music is immoral.

All music since time immemorial has been filled with lewd lyrics. If you understand your mother tongue then you have definitely listened to some lewd lyrics and asked yourself “Hii ni ya 1960?”

Nameless

4. “I was always number one”.

If all Kenyan parents were number one, who was failing? Somebody is lying. We should all ask our parents to produce their report card when they give us this talk for “I walked 800 KM to school and was number one always”

5. “Pombe ni mbaya”.

No, alcohol is actually really nice, especially in the correct measure. If alcohol was bad, then they wouldn’t have bought it and hid it in the store. Clearly, its nice… in moderation

6. “Don’t talk to members of the opposite sex”.

Who would deny themselves the priviledge of being in love and heartbroken. Pendana nanii… it’s a good feeling!!!

7. “Earphones zitaharibu maskio”.

Ok, do we know of someone who got deaf because of headphones? The possibility of this happening is the same as a plane crash. It rarely happens, but when it does happen it is exaggerated

8. “Hio TV itaharibu macho”

Do you actually know a blind person who said “Nilikuwa nawatch TV nikapoteza tuu signal ya macho”? Me neither

9. “Soma kwa bidii upate kazi nzuri sana”

Soma kwa bidii in this world applies if you want to become a university lecturer. How many brilliant people do we know that are jobeless? Clearly we have missed something……. Wewe unasoma alafu githeri man anatokea tuu anakuwa sonko

10. “Ugali will make you strong”

UWONGO. If Ugali made you stronger, popcorn would have had the same effect. Si yote ni mahindi?

Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg eat lunch with Kenya CS Joe Mucheru at Mama Oliech's in Yaya. Photo / COURTESY
Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg eats lunch with Kenya CS Joe Mucheru at Mama Oliech’s in Yaya. Photo / COURTESY