1. “Sitaki kuchapwa na boyfriend yako...” When you are trying to find out if she is single.

If successful, she will reply “Hata sinanga boyfriend”

2. “Can I use your phone to make an emergency call?” *Calls self*

When you want to get her number but know that there is a chance she may say no because you have worn an oversize suit. Mwanaume ni ujanja

3. “Si tupatane Njuguna's Friday, hako kanyama is better than pizza”. Lets face it, Kenyan men are terrible at dates.

Besides, si kila mtu anapenda nyama choma? Just make sure that the kachumbari has no cholera

4. “Habari ya job leo?” When you want to find out if she is jobless after she sends you texts all day.

Si mwanaume ni standards?

5. “Nikikupigia simu usiku, nanii hataskia vibaya?” When you want to find out if that ring finger is for marriage or for warding off men.

Fact is, men are pests. Some rings are security alerts. Also, leave married women alone.

6. “Niko jobless”. When you realize that she is not your type but she keeps on bothering you.

This is better than saying “Niko na girlfriend”. You can make this worse by saying that you still live with your mum na leo ni siku yako ya kusonga ugali

7. “Ukimaliza kujam uniongeleshe...” How Kenyan men apologize

8. “Sikuskii... network mbaya”. When you're having an argument over the phone

9. “She is not my girlfriend... she just used to want me”. When she meets you with another girl who you used to have a crush on.

Those girls that come back in your life when you have a girlfriend

10. “Ndio hiyo” How Kenyan men give flowers and chocolates to their girlfriends because their masculinity is too fragile to gift

11. “Kuna maji ya tap... ya chupa inakuwanga na cancer.” When you take her to an expensive restaurant but you broke. You really want her to eat