Gone are the days when celebrity bad boys were the order of the day. They have instead been replaced by the most timid and meek cry babies and softies the land of Kenya has ever seen.

I rue the day the Shaffie Werus and Ia Mugoyas were replaced by these saplings who cry and belly-ache about everything. Boohoo! I got bad press! Waaaaaah!

I am misunderstood! Waaaah! What will my mummy say? Waaaaaaaaah!

And so to start this list of ignomy, allow me to first say that I have no issues with these cry babies save for the fact that i was raised to know men ask for more! Men do not belly ache, they tighten their belts in go in for what's theirs.

I miss Ian Mugoya's too cool to care attitude. I miss the Shaffie Werus and the Shappaman and Kus Ma. These days we just have metrosexuals and pretty boys who are too concerned with whether their mascara is running or nah!

BAH!

And the biggest Kenyan celebrity cry babies are:

#5. Martin Kimathi

This guy has to be the most boring celebrity I have ever encountered! He is so scared to rock the boat that he fears his own shadow. I can understand just how strict the work environment he works for is but come on! Homie has nary a strand out of hair so God forbid he has a controversial opinion. Bah!

#4. DJ Mo

This guy went on a tangent about gospel artists not supporting him in his hour of need and I get that. I would also be pissed if my friends refused to turn up for my wife's fundraising but I wuldn't go about expressing it by bitching on social media. I definitely wouldn't do it on IG either! Come on homie, how old are you?

Communicate with your words, not your attitude!

#3. Ringtone

This homie is actually a homeboy to myself and members of my team but he is always complaining about the smallest and most petty issues! The last time we spoke, it was because he was upset at a photo used in a piece done BY SOMEONE ELSE about him. I said sorry and killed that issue like Kasavubu.

for a guy that courts controversy, he sure like to nitpick way more than my grandmother.

#2. Nick Mutuma

oh my word! This guy makes it to the top of the list because of how slick he is at it. He actually comes off cool until you try to press him about a prickly issue. That is when you realize he has way too much money to make being silent on everything for him to have an opinion.

#1. Larry Madowo

This guy! He has made a career out of whining and seems to be doing just fine. But oh my word he is irritating! I would rather listen to a meddley of cat mating calls and cats getting castrated than have to watch his show. Sadly, I am alone as millions tune in every week!

He is Kenya's media version of Justin Beiber.