Hoyeee! Ni ya mwenye kufuma: Nairobi slay queen starter pack

Piece by: Grace Kerongo
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You know how they say don't judge a book by its cover? Well, they lied. When it comes to Nairobi slay queens, what you see is what you get.

They can be identified by various markers. Here is the typical Nairobi slay queen starter pack for 2020.

Please don't argue with me. My eyelashes hurt.

1. They love biker shorts

2. You will not find them dead without a fake designer sling bag. They usually buy them huko towns for Ksh 999.

3. A Nairobi slay queen worth her salt must have fake eye lashes. Not just fake but exaggerated lashes. Otherwise, what is the use of enhancing those eyelashes?

4. Wigs. Wigs. Wigs. Wigs. Did I say wigs? Yes. A Nairobi slay queen has to have wigs, all colour wigs with various lengths.

5. Some ascribe to the bleaching school of thought. The lighter you are the higher the rank you are in the slay queen hierarchy.

6. Let's talk about those nails. Very slay queen has to have those long acrylic nails. My question is, unajipanguza vipi ukienda msalani?

7. Instagram posts are all usually sponsored. From the tip of her hair down to her toes. All the items she has on as well as plastered on her face are sponsored.

8. If they don't have an iPhone they buy an iPhone case so that she keeps up the appearances.

9. Holiday trips. When they go for a trip, everything will be splashed on all her social media. You will get a blow by blow account of how many ants invaded the 5 bedroom villa she was staying at.

10. Eccentric accessories. Nairobi slay queens have to have earings that are dramatic and out there, sunglasses shaped like in various styles for various occasions, boots of various lengths and colours. Bracelets and waists beads. Yaani they have everything.