I love how Kenyans dress to look like their relatives. Photo / The Star
I love how Kenyans dress to look like their relatives. Photo / The Star

Kenyan dads are a rare breed and can be identified by their distinguished habits. In fact, you can go to Nigeria today and identify a Kenyan dad just by his behavior. Which traits do Kenyan dads possess?

  1. Drinks White Cap.
    Nothing says Kenyan Dad than a person who drinks white cap. White cap is the official Kenyan Dad drink. If you love white cap and you are yet to be a dad then you are well on your way there.
  2. Watches TV while asleep.
    All Kenyan dads watch TV while taking a nap. “Don’t change that channel, I’m watching that debate on KBC”. In addition to this, they have to watch news at 7PM and 9PM. You can’t convince a Kenyan dad that they can get the instant news on their smartphone.
  3. Has that “I walked to school barefoot story”.
    At some point in your life, you depended on your Kenyan dad for money. When your Kenyan dad is broke, he will always tell you a guilt tripping story. “You know that at your age we didn’t have much? I walked to school barefoot and ran from lions. I’d come from school to take care of cows. You children are so lucky. Why do you need this money anyway?”
  4. Can’t cook.
    A typical Kenyan dad prides himself in his inability to cook, Unless he is a chef, a Kenyan dad would rather die from hunger than learn how to cook a basic meal in the kitchen of a house he bought. In addition to this, the ideal Kenyan dad meal is Ugali, nyamachoma and kachumbari.
  5. Was always number 1.
    A typical Kenyan dad was always number 1 in school all his life. All Kenyan dads were number one. Either that or those guys really cheated in their exams.
  6. Wants you to pursue his career.
    A typical Kenyan dad will advise you to pursue his career because it is the best. If he is a doctor, chef, nurse or even a shopkeeper, then he will want you to pursue his dream because that’s the best thing in the world ever.
  7. Responds to “I love you dad” with an awkward answer.
    Your typical Kenyan dad grew up in a society where manhood was an inability to express deep emotions. In fact, you’r Kenyan dad has a lot repressed, especially if he grew up in a rural setting. If you tell your Kenyan dad “I love you”, expect an answer like “Why?” “Tuma pesa basi” or “Then bring me grandchildren”
  8. Still buys the newspaper every morning.
    Newspapers have to thank Kenyan dads for keeping them in business. In fact, you can gift your Kenyan dad an iPad but he will still insist on buying the newspaper because it is better.
  9. “Sorry” does not exist in his vocabulary.
    No matter how old he gets, your Kenyan dad will never admit to fault. Just accept the fact
  10. According to him, Franco is the greatest musician ever.
    In fact, he has all the albums.