Longest serving African president Robert Mugabe is a legend. He has many fans across the continent especially in Kenya.  Someone created a page and named it “Mugabe Quotes” and it has grown in the shortest time possible. The page has more than 50k followers.

MTAMCHUKIA! Extremely Hilarious Quotes By President Robert Mugabe On Women

The page is basically for sharing funny quotes and here are Mugabe’s latest proverbs,

  1. Your only true parent is your mother, i have seen fathers neglect their kids like they fell from the sky, Give a like to your mom, dead or alive.

2. Only black people will go on a dead person’s wall on Facebook and post “Tell me it’s not true”

3. African parents are only humble when you’re teaching them how to use a smart phone

4.RIP to all the relationships and marriages that WhatsApp video calling is about to break

when your girlfriend says we need to talk and she start with words like “you know i love you right” My brother just cry.

5.Things that tell the truth : drunk people,kids and front camera.

6.If you think your relationship is real,exchange your phone for 24 hours,without any password..And I challenge you that 99% of people will become single.

7.Only in Africa where a parent will call you to collect his plate after eating then he will follow you to the kitchen to wash his hands!

8. Heartbreaks are bad…my niece has been washing one plate for 49mins..This is the reason why i gave my heart to jesus

9.Ony in Africa you will see a guy well suited, the nicely trimmed beards, with his unique swag but the only thing he can afford to pocket is his hands, My Brothers do you know how you make golddiggers feel???

10.Some girls should not be allowed to wear Brazilian weaves. You give us false hope when we see you from behind, then you turn your head to face us and Iet me keep quiet.

11.I found a guy today taking beer at 9:30 am. I asked him “isn’t it too early for you to be drinking ?” He replied ” oooh really,at what time do throats open?” i walked away
Now minding my own business

12.Drinking Morning-After pills is a rehearsal for drinking the ARVs

13.When your boyfriend keeps on cheating on you with the same girl over and over again…My sister just swallow your pride and ask her for advice.

14.When You’re Single No one Talks To You.But When You’re Taken
Everyone Is All Up On You.Now That’s Witchcraft,

15.Only an African mother would wake you up at 2am in the morning to beat you up for an offence you committed at 12pm the previous day.

16.One does not drown by falling in water..but by staying in it without swimming. No one is really affected by a problem because of the mere fact that they face one, it only affects the one who does nothing when facing it. No one dies from hunger, however, many die from not addressing hunge

17. Death is God’s way of saying you are fired. Suicide is humans way of saying, I quit.

18. Girls with big boobs and a small bum remind me of improper fractions like 15/2.

19.Buying an African girl flowers is not an issue, the problem starts when you get an sms later that says “my love, the spinach you bought me tastes funny'”

20.Dating an unemployed girl will stress to a point where you’ll even think of opening a Facebook page and hire her as an admin

21.I feel sorry for the brothers in the friendzone. I’m afraid there’s no real escape. It’s like the horizon. You keep on chasing it but it never truly is within your reach, so close yet so far!

22.If a man is allowed to select a girl from a possible of 100 girls…
Even if he picks the most beautiful one, he will still feel the pain of losing the remaining 99.
It’s Genetic !!!

23. Some people in your life are like those songs in the playlist that you always skip but can never delete..!!

24. Some girls will sleep snoring like a dragon…..Only for them to wake up and start updating their status like….”Gosh ..awh! Slept like a Baby”….Hahaha Shut up my sister do u mean like a baby dragon huh?..

25.Have you noticed there are people on facebook who don’t comment on anything, they dont like anything, they dont even share anything but always online and if you unfriend them they still send you back friend request….Are they Facebook security Guards or what??

26. John Legend is a chronic liar!!!!
“my head’s under water but am breathing fine”.
What rubbish is that?
I tried that shit today and almost died

 

Credits: https://www.facebook.com/rgmquotes/?ref=br_tf

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