Marya Prude wife to Citizen TV host Willis Raburu has said that she is trying to rediscover herself once again weeks after the loss of her daughter.

The couple, who were expecting their first child, have taken time off after they lost their unborn baby.

Weeks ago Mrs Raburu had questioned God for leaving her when she needed him the most. Well she is making an effort to reconnect with God.

'I don’t know who you are anymore but I want to embark on a self discovery journey and find you and love you as you deserve coz you only deserve the best.'

On Wednesday January 8 through Instagram, Prude penned a heart wrenching prayer to God explaining her emotional state.

“EVERYONE IS SO QUICK TO TELL ME ABOUT GOD. WHAT THEY DON’T KNOW IS THAT EVERY WAY I KNEW HIM, HE WAS TESTED AND HE DIDN’T PROVE HIMSELF,” SHE WROTE.

Adding,

“SO AS THEY SAY YOU SHOULD KNOW GOD FOR YOURSELF, I NOW CAN SAY, I DON’T KNOW HIM. AND I DON’T THINK I WANT TO KNOW HIM COZ HE LEFT ME WHEN I NEEDED HIM THE MOST,” MARYA LAMENTED.

A week later, Willis penned a long post to his daughter saying that she is forever etched on his mind and heart.

'My beautiful daughter, some days are easy some days are so hard.

Today I woke up trying to imagine what it would be like to watch you sleep, ( that’s the only image I have of you) what it be like you hold warm fingers, what a sleepless night would feel like.

What it would be like to go to work tired Koz you kept me up at night, who you would look like now?

what color of your skin? if you would drink as much milk as I did when I was your age. My daughter, you are an angel now, or so they tell me and when I look up to the sky sometimes I cry, sometimes I sometimes I laugh.'

Adding

'I want you to make so much noise in heaven, or in the multi-verse you are in,I want you to have all your the people who are with you there say “Yeap that’s Willis’ child” I miss you so much.

It’s funny that I have a picture of you but even before I look at it, your face is engrained in my heart, etched in my soul, tattooed in my very essence.

My daughter, my sweet lovely beautiful daughter, I’m sorry that you have to see daddy weak and in grief and not the pillar of strength that you and your mother need.

But my daughter, daddy loves you, since He listens to you talk to Him and tell Him, daddy doesn’t understand but daddy needs help. Rest In Palaces, RIP because you are royalty. 👼🏾👸🏾#QueenAdana.'

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