I started using matatus a while back when I lost all my privileges and kicked out of home. But that is another story for another day. That was nearly 3 years ago. And when I begun using matatus regularly, I got to see that all was not well in this sector of the transport industry.

Behind the glittering graffiti paint job and the braggadocio of the crews lies a deep dark secret; most matatu touts collaborate with the drivers to rob passengers. Sometimes, when the passenger is passed out after binge drinking, this will be a routine pickpocketing gig. Other times, more often than not, the crews just mug you violently because you are amongst the last passengers to disembark.

And when I spoke to some crew members about it, they attempted to distance themselves from the vice, instead blaming the guys more popularly known as "squadi" but they were unable to answer the question of why they give these guys their matatus with full knowledge that they will rob guys.

And with that, we at Mpasho set about curating a list of all the matatu routes on which you are more likely than not to be robbed by the crew or their accomplices. I have had personal experience in one and although I was able to fight off the thieves, I lost my watch.

Enjoy the list below:

#10. Westlands Kangemi

I have a colleague who was mugged in a Westlands/ kangemi route matatu bound for town. The matatu crew as he put it were "definitely" working with the thieves who relieved him of his burdensome laptop and lessened his worry of owning an expensive state of the art smartphone.

I am personally familiar with the incidences of pickpockets stealing passengers stuff on this route. I have however never heard of a violent mugging hence why this route ranks so low among it's ignominious peers.

#9. Rongai

Ha! This one is usually a trip! These matatus aren't the safest late in the night from about 11pm yet they operate 24hrs a day. Another friend of mine called Xola and his brother Robin had to pummel one of thos "squadi" types after he tried to make away with their phone. And when they were taken to the police station, the manamba had the audacity to defend the rogue!

#8. Uthiru/ Kinoo

This route used to be a mess! When I was kicked out of my mothers home, it was the first area I landed in (told you I am gangster). While on the route my then lass and I would be woken up to the sound of gunfights and dawn would bring a new story of a hijacked matatu.

Then came the muggings that happened on the overloaded matatus late at night when most of the passengers are drunk. Actually, lost one of the many phones he has lost.

#7. South B

One of my women was once carjacked in a South B matatu and taken to the slum that co-exists with the suburb and wouldn't you know it, the crew were reluctant to go and make a report to the police. Hmmm... I wonder why.

And this rout actually has one of the rudest and crudest crews of any Nairobi area matatu. I am told people who get onboard often fear to do so late into the night yet they operate till the small hours of the morning!

#6. BuruBuru

Some of the most visually stunning matatus and the most daring stuntmen manambas are to be found on this route. And from what I am made to understand from a female colleague, guys getting mugged here is nothing new. But according to her, this is because the crew has ties to the area boys and useless layabouts from estates such as Jericho.

#5. Ruiru

Another colleague was carjacked on this route and once she was safely off (thank God she wasn't accosted), the person whom she had gone to visit informed her that none of the residents use these matatus past a certain hour because they know what awaits them. Wait, she was punched for not cooperating... She's about 5'3"... Brave thieves these!

#4. Donholm/ Jacaranda

A female colleague of mine who used to live in the area that I consider the very buttcrack nether regions of Nairobi (read eastlands) tells me that the practice of jacking matatus was so rampant in the area that residents learnt to expect and anticipate them. The practice was so commonplace that residents believe the matatu crews are behind them. She pointed an accusatory finger at one particular matatu sacco but I refuse to name them seeing as they are a very well known MMatatu sacco

#3. Lang'ata

My pet peeve. I loathe the manambas who service this route. Quick to cry foul like little children, equally quick to hike fares. Bah! Quick to rob you. I remember my cousins and I fighting off the thieving crews on more than 2 occasions!

And Lang'ata manambas are the ones who do the mugging themselves! But they are so cowardly, a team of 6 miscreants descend on 3. What do they share afterwards? Crumbs? These mice!

This is not to say that there are no descent matatu crews in Lang'ata but past 11 you will be hard pressed to find them. They are usually replaced by druggie, shifty looking, skinny as hell, always smelling of sweat, piss and cheap alcohol area boys from the slum!

#2. Githurai/ Thika Rd

Mungiki much? And do you remember the video of a lass getting harrased by a matatu crew? No?

I do not blame you. Kenyans have poor collective memories. But these are the type of routes Kenyans are forced to use every single day. And the only reason this route isn't number one is because the next one is just crazy!

#1. Jamhuri Estate/ Ngong Rd

This route was so bad at one time that whenever parents heard that their daughters were using them, they offered to pay for cabs. This route got so crazy that at one point, an entire bus was jacked and everyone onboard stripped naked!

As to why this route is so bad no one seems to have a clue. But one thing that is certain is that this route is the craziest and most dangerous in Nairobi. Muggings are a daily occurrence as are jackings. I dread to think about the crimes that go unreported!