You might think you have heard it all, but NO you have not. What have people tuned into?? It begs the question are they on drugs or their brains are not okay or maybe have psychological problems that they are not aware of??
This lady managed to finish campus as a virgin then met a guy who victimized her, lowered her self-esteem, cheated on her and that’s just the icing on the cake. Here is the full story that will leave your mouth wide open and break your heart into a thousand pieces;
“All through University, I stayed clean. No alcohol, no sex. If any man suggested sex, that was the end of us. I graduated clean. I was proud of it. I often wondered how people live with themselves having lost count of the number of men they had slept with or abortions procured.
Then I met him. He was Funny, had a good sense of humor, physique , a good job, responsible, nice cologne….. Perfection. An answered prayer. A Reward. I knew God had seen how good a girl I had been and on a silver platter, my gift of a dream come true.
We went on our first date, to his house. I should have seen this as a red flag. He made me cook lunch as he watched TV. I served him a plate of food, took the plates to the kitchen, served him with a glass of water, took it back to the kitchen, then he said, whenever someone dirties anything in his house they clean, so I did the dishes. I didn’t like that. I thought we should have done all this together, what do you think?
It was time for me to go home, he pleaded with me to stay but it was our first date, I wasn’t going to spend the night, that’s not how good girls do this. I was going to get married first before giving a bite of my precious cookie. So no spending the night, we agreed.
On getting to the door, it was locked from inside, and the keys had been misplaced. We searched. And searched. And searched. And searched again, all in vain. Only option was for me to spend the night. I took the couch. He later came and said his bed was too cold and he needed the blanket, so the best thing was for me to join him so we could share the blankets. I agreed. He touched me. I didn’t really mind it. He kissed me, I liked it. We kissed. He pulled my skirt. I held it tight. He held my hand above my head. I whispered to him that I wasn’t ready and it was my first time. He let out a groan. He became wild. It had to happen. He pulled my skirt, my panty, with my hands above my head, with me pleading asking him to listen, with him panting , it had to happen. Using his legs he parted mine and bam! Ndaaaani.
Mark, today I speak of it with ease and I’ll tell you why. The following morning, he apologized. He said it was unlike him and that I shouldn’t have put on a skirt. He promised he would be patient and that I should give him a chance. I did. He asked me to be his girlfriend.
We started dating and I stopped wearing skirts to his place. Though that never stopped him from being tempted. The sex was bad. Well, I didn’t have anything to compare it to but from how my friends would describe, mine was ever painful and theirs was something to look forward to.
Every time I went to visit him, I would cook, serve, clean, sex. I didn’t like it. I decided to get out of the relationship, so after lunch, I brought up the topic. I was standing by the door when saying these words, his face changed, his breathe heaved, his eyes reddened. He was on fire. He hit me across my face. He held me by the neck and hit me against the wall. Till to date I think my DNA is still on those walls. I couldn’t see him now that my glasses had fallen off. But since he was holding my neck, I could feel him shaking. He immediately let go and started cursing. He sat down on the couch. I was still at the door, confused. I sat on the ground.
There was silence, though my head was spinning not sure of what had happened. He apologized. I had a bump on my forehead, he nursed it. This time crying, saying I should never leave him. And that we should talk about it. He said that even if I left him, I would never get anyone else because he had damaged me already. That no man would want a woman who had been slept with another, that he was my only option. That I was too thin and looked sick so men wouldn’t be attracted to me. That I was lucky he took me as I was. I believed him. We talked about it. He promised things would change, I stayed.
The following week, I went to his house unannounced. It was his birthday and it was midweek, so I wanted to make him his favorite dish. The door was unlocked, I walked in. No one was at the living room, neither in the kitchen so I walked into the bedroom. Just like in the movies, he was laying on the bed , with his d**k in some girl’s mouth. The girl next door. I froze. He saw me. He jumped and once again, my head kissed the wall. He said if I had agreed to be blowing him, he wouldn’t have been cheating.
I went home crying all the way. I didn’t care who was watching.
This time I opened up to mum. She cried with me. She told me the one word I wanted to hear all those months. She told me, leave him. I made up my mind that night. I didn’t know what hurt most but it hurt so bad.
I started working on my self-esteem. I didn’t have any so I began building it. 4 weeks later, I found out I was pregnant. I told mum. We cried together again and we decided I should tell him. Of course you know what happened, he wasn’t interested. By now I weighed 40kg. Depressed, poor eater, and exactly 3 months into my pregnancy, I lost it. I told him, he blamed me. He was good at it. I cried every night for a month.
Today I don’t carry any bitterness towards this incident five years ago. To me it is now a story I tell, and know that I wouldn’t let that happen to me again. After accepting that I had lost my child, I started building my esteem. I reminded myself that I was once Miss university. I reminded myself that I was smart. That I was admired by my friends for how well I sang. That I was fun. That I was hard working and my life was worth living. It was an everyday thing that helped a lot.
I later spoke to a therapist for two months and she helped a lot. We all have the power in us. This world doesn’t care who you are or how you’ve lived your life. But we have it in us to bounce right back. We could use a little boost from someone but we have all the power to make a change. I don’t hate men. I don’t think they are all the same. I don’t think they are all dogs. I just met one psycho who was out to ruin me because of his own issues, but I know I will one day meet someone who will respect and love me as I am.”
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