Usiseme Hukuambiwa! Here Are The Do's And Don'ts Of Office Romance

Piece by: Caren Nyota
Lifestyle

Given the amount of time we spend at work, it is little wonder that many people find their passion and excitement in the office.

One in three people has a romantic liaison with a colleague and 28 per cent of British working women say they have had sex in the workplace.

But secret trysts in the boardroom and chance encounters in the lift can bring misery as well as intrigue to your working day.

Whether you're already romantically involved at work, or just thinking about it, here's how to be ten steps ahead of heartache - and unemployment.

Leave him if he's married: You will win very little support for your relationship and you run the risk of his wife/girlfriend turning up at the office with a large tin of paint for your car.

Relationship psychotherapist Phillip Hodson says: 'It's not a crime to fancy someone but when there are families or other halves involved, you have to think of the consequences.'

Flirt discreetly: Discretion is the key to a successful office romance. Brushing past someone or a stolen glance over the photocopier is far more enticing than draping yourself over his desk.

Also, people are watching. Subtle flirting allows you to maintain your professionalism and keep an air of mystery between you and your object of desire.

Anticipate responses: Misreading the signals can be disastrous. Is he smiling at you, or does he smile at everyone? Be aware that many people put on a 'friendly' mask at work.

You risk huge embarrassment and possibly your job if you proposition the boss and he doesn't know who you are. Do the groundwork and if you think he's interested, build up a friendship. It will improve your chances for a long-term relationship.

Decide whether to confide in colleagues: If you don't want to be a regular feature of office gossip, it might be best to tell a few close colleagues about your romance. That way people lose the intrigue and friends won't feel excluded. On the other hand, be aware that workplace relationships can incite jealousy.

Think carefully about sex in the workplace: It's all part of the package of an office romance but if you don't want your cloakroom exploits broadcast at the Christmas party, look out for security cameras.

It's better to save the passion for after-hours.

Watch your appearance: Don't try too hard to catch his attention. It only takes a bit more lipstick and a slightly shorter skirt for people to start talking. If you don't want colleagues to suspect your motives and to avoid malicious comments, keep your look understated.

Be careful with e-mails: Hit the wrong key and the whole building will know how you like your strawberries and whipped cream. It's likely that your company can access your e-mails anyway so be cautious.

Beware of company law: Although there are no specific laws that prevent office romances, your company might have its own policy.

Richard Isham, an employment lawyer at Wedlake Bell Associates, says: 'Office romances are usually frowned upon because of the issue of confidentiality.

For instance, a company would be worried if the head of IT was in a relationship with another employee. Important security information could be transferred during pillow talk. Allegations of misconduct can be made.

Firms could also argue that office relationships encroach on company time and disrupt the office environment. Some employers will expect you to change departments. Read your contract thoroughly.'

Ask him to marry you: According to research, half of all workplace romances result in marriage. Try not to seem too eager though. It's wise at least to ask him out before you ask him down the aisle.

Make sure you're the only one: 'With any office romance' says Phillip Hodson, 'you've got all your eggs in one basket - you're very vulnerable.'

If you're going to risk your career, friends and livelihood then make sure he's worth it. If you know you're not the first office conquest - steer clear.

Worse, if you didn't know, give yourself time to cool off. Don't sit there plotting a Lorena Bobbit-style revenge whilst weeping uncontrollably. Talk about it after work with friends or family.

Source: Daily Mail