I had an interesting conversation with one of the homies this morning and it was about whether or not to buy gifts for his significant other.
I am of the belief that gifts are earned ergo I do not give gifts to people simply because they have completed a revolution around the sun or because some corporation feels they are due some expensive form of appreciation a la Valentines day. Aye, I know, dating me is such a drag.
My friend is the kind of man that some would call generous. I on the other hand, would describe him as a “simp”. You see, he has lass whom he obviously cares for and he would spoil with gifts. Well, he bought her a birthday gift even without having dated her for 3 months, let alone a year.
For the keen eyed, you can spot the issues with that statement. The first being that he is dating the lass barely having known her for 3 months. He should focus on having fun with her and not trying to label their situation.
But the second is the main focal point of our story time: buying her a birthday gift. In a relationship, good behaviour is to be appreciated and rewarded. At this juncture I should define what good behaviour is. That is a subjective one. Whatever your partner (in this case my friend) defines it as. If he expects his lass to wash dishes when she comes over to visit him, if he expects her to keep house, if he expects her to massage him or add value to his life in whatever way he deems fit, then it is what it is.
Once in a while, to reward his lass for her good behaviour, he should buy her gifts. Nothing major, something thoughtful, and life as we know moves on. This teaches her to add value to his life and he in turn shows how much he appreciates it.
Well, what about on her birthday? Well, that one she can get a gift from her friends and family. Infact, let the bredren she has chained up in the dungeon called “Friend Zone” shine. Give them a chance to shine.
Why am I advocating for a smart approach to gift giving? Because today’s woman is entitled. They are entitled to your time, your money, your emotions essentially, all your resources and what do you get in return? Zilch.
Think about it, gentlemen. When was the last time your significant other did anything to add value to your life? Or when was the last time a lass you were involved in bought you anything? I eagerly await your responses.
So what is the moral of the story?
If you take anything away from this very brief offering it should be this: your girlfriend/ wife is not entitled to a gift, they have to earn it. Giving gifts that have not been earned dilutes the value of your validation. Besides, only people looking for favours buy gifts. There is actually a science to generosity.