K'ogalo fans from Bondo travelling to Nairobi

December holidays are here and Kenyans are already making plans to go visit their loved ones back in the village.

The big question is, what are some of the things you should avoid doing while visiting?

  1. Do not wear fake lashes

You have heard the proverb ‘Fire is a good servant but a bad master‘ so leave your lashes at home hatutaki zishike moto.

2. Long nails issa no

We all know that in most shagz people scrub sufurias either using steel wool or scotch brite, those two things and long nails don’t complement each other.

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3. Body con dresses acha Nairobi

The temptation to carry your favourite body con dresses might be very high. A piece of advice is to just leave them in Nairobi.

With all the work that comes with being at home, you won’t get a chance to flaunt your curves and derriere in them.

Furthermore, your mother or mother-in-law has seen enough thighs more than you can imagine.

4. Avoid wearing high heels

Most shagz have not been tarmacked so the roads are bad, Muranga is hilly and so you can imagine wearing heels in that terrain.

Sis, we are not ready to contribute to your medical fund in-case you break your spine.

5. Don’t twerk, ovyo ovyo

You might be tempted to show off your twerking skills with songs like  ‘Wamlambez, Pekejeng and Queen B Machine’ but don’t.

Don’t be the reason why your mother calls the village pastor to push out demons that have invaded her daughter.

Cheza chini and listen to Sammidoh, after all aren’t his songs dope?

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6. Don’t go empty-handed and leave loaded

Nairobians have such bad habits that would make even the devil cringe in shame.

Most do not go home for such a long time and when they do they carry shopping that can’t last weeks.

On the other hand, when they are coming back to Nairobi they are quick to pack up their car boots with mandizi, waru, sugarcane, rice among other things.

Tuwache hio tabia please.

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