It is a cold and hard road for fat women out there. Most men are attracted to women who have the curves and lithe legs to go with them.

When I say curves, I mean curves! Not fat and cellulite! There is a big difference! So for the lady who has tires where none should be, this opinion piece is for you.

Take it as a concerned citizen's helpful stab at what is ailing all the thick women struggling to trap men. Nothing revolutionary, just common-sense. Let us begin:

Hit the gym

Men are simple creatures. We see and like before we get to know the person. Cellulite does not make a woman attractive nor do layers of flesh hanging.  Lose the extra weight and you will see your suitors increase by a factor of 5 minimum.

Change your attitude

Be willing to do the things most skinnier and thus more attractive women will not do. From cooking to cleaning the house, be the best you can be. Hata ngotha ya yule msee osha!

Be a freak in the sheets

There is a style in Kenya done by many attractive women called kufa mende (dead cockroach). This style is one where the woman you have seduced ends up lying on her back on the bed, while the man does all the heavy lifting. Not even a finger will be raised by the concerned slay queen to make it a better affair.

As a fatty, let the man always know that great s3x is a preserve of huge women, you. Beat the slay queens with all your holes, pun intended!

Settle

This is all about biology. A man who is a 10 on the beauty scale wants women who near his number, so from 8-10. Being a fattie, you start at 3, add in the best attitude and the best s3x ever and you max out at 6. So go for the guy you can easily reach. Who is that a 7 or 8.

So even that divorcee or that man who has a potbelly may be an option. At the end of the day, what is your goal? To get married or have standards for your as an old spinster nursing your cats?

This list is simple but will elicit differing opinions but mine at the end is the gospel.

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