Sex_Meme

This story has gripped many Nairobians. It is like a dramatic soap opera involving two step sisters who hate each other.

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The story is narrated by the man who was caught in between.

I got married to Ellen 4 years back, she was God’s gift to me, so pretty, God fearing, all those wife material qualities, before we got married I had impregnated her so 7 months after marriage she delivered a beautiful baby girl, life was all good we always had fights and make ups ( kawaida ya ndoa), “Would you share me with any lady?” I asked one night, “What?, never, ” she answered, “But it’s normal in Africa to be polygamous,” I said, “Where is this coming from? What are you trying to tell me? Hit the nail on the head already,” she said.

I wasn’t that serious but it became a serious argument, she even cried claiming I had started cheating on her, well I apologized and assured her I’m a faithful man. That night passed, I wasn’t given the honey pot as a pano for talking of such a topic.

There was this workmate whose name was Fancy we always went for lunch together, worked in the same office, shared personal stories. One day Fancy told me she had broken up with her boyfriend and was never going back to him for what he had done, the boyfriend had slept with a friend of hers. I was there for her as a friend, helped her overcome the breakup and always advised her there are alot of good men out there, not all men are the same, well she got over her heartbreak and life was back to normal.

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On Saturdays, we used to work till noon, one sato after job she told me, “You’re the best man ever, I wish I met you before.” Well that caught me off guard and I was silent, “I’m in love you,” she said, “You’re a good lady Fancy but I’m married,” I said. She was disappointed but had no problem with it “I can be a second wife,” she said.

Well honestly, I liked her now the words I had told my wife about were coming true, I told her we should stick to friendship things might change. Time passed, I was in a dilemma I loved fancy and Ellen. One Monday morning I told my wife that sometime that week I’ll be travelling to Zanzibar but it was business related, I told her I’d be gone for two weeks, well she agreed but deep down inside me I knew it was a lie I was going to spend the two weeks at Fancy’s.

The day reached I went to Fancy’s place, we could go to work together, back home together. One week down, on a sato afternoon Fancy and I were going home from job, I heard Ellen shout my name from behind, we both looked, “Fancy” she shouted, “Oh God you two know each other?” I whispered to Fancy “Yeah, she’s my step sister,” Fancy said.

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“Is this the Zanzibar you told me about?” She said tears filled in her eyes, “With this whore?” She started crying, I knew if I don’t do something real quick it’ll attract peoples attention, “Don’t you dare insult me,” Fancy shouted, “Okay ladies calm down let’s talk like civilised people,” I said, “Talk about what?” Ellena was furious, she slapped me, “Honey don’t let anger take the better part of you relax” I told her “Anger? You cheat on me with this whore then tell me to calm down?” She continued, “If you dare call me a whore again,” Fancy said “What? What prostitute, cheap whore” Ellen shouted and jumped on her face, I stopped them then told Fancy to leave, well she left and I took my wife home.

That was the worst night ever, she was shouting allover, the baby was there crying, “Your parents must here this,” she cried, I tried and tried to calm her down but in vein, she called her mom and told her. Ellen’s dad had two wives that is Fancys mom and Ellen’s mom, from the way she was talking I knew they didn’t get along well and I was f*cked up. Her mom said she’ll come to my house the next day. She cried and cried till her voice broke, she laid down on the floor, I took her and carried her to bed. It was 3 am in the morning I woke up (nature calls), she wasn’t on the bed, “Ellen” I called her, I went to the living room and found her crying with a matchbox on her hand.

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She stood up and “Don’t come closer to me I’ll do it,” I smelt gas, I knew if I tried something stupid we’re both dead, “Please honey let’s talk,” I said, “How could you? I gave you the best, what else did you want,” she cried out loud, “Honey, I’m sorry please put it down and let’s talk,” I tried to calm her down while going closer to her, “Nooo don’t come any closer I’m fed up,” she said, “Okay think about our child, think about us, we still have a chance to make things right,” I told her, she cried and removed a matchstick,” you should have thought about that before going out and cheating me with that devil,” she was serious and looked like she was fed up for real.

“Honey, don’t, I beg you, I still love you,” I said as I went on my knees “What do you know about love?” She asked “I know I love you and I love my kid,” I replied, “Let’s die already, she tried to light it but the stick she was holding was full of tears wow that was a narrow escape from death, I stood up but before I made a move she had removed another and was ready to do it again, “I said don’t come close,” she warned me, the baby was up crying already, “You hear that honey? That’s what binds us together our gift from God,” I was almost peeing on my short, “You are not stopping me let’s just die life sucks big time,” she said, “I’m going to pick the baby now if that’s what you want so be it, ill die while holding my child,” I said as I left to go pick the baby.

I came back to the living room holding the baby thinking that it would make her change my mind. When she was just about to I threw the baby at her and she held her and fell down together, I then ran and took the matchbox from her hand, poor baby was crying and crying, I apologized again and again then went to the kitchen and turned off the gas, . the room was filled with gas we both started coughing,, i tried to ask her to move out to the balcony but all she did is hit my chest, I had no otherwise than to pull her out by force, the poor baby was just crying all that time.

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It was 6 am and we were still on the balcony, I saw her moms car from a distance man she was driving like a drunk man I could smell trouble already. Ellen left me holding the baby and rushed to open the gate for her mom, “Iko wapi hiyo senge?” She was furious, “Where is that he goat?” She said as she was still in the car towards the parking, from her shouting I could tell next minute it’s war. I went downstairs and closed the door, of cause I wouldn’t fight her mom, she came out of the car and hugged Ellen.

“Ooh my baby don’t cry,” she told her. I had locked myself in so I just went straight to my bedroom and hear them yap. When they tried to enter they were suprised I had locked myself in. “Fungua hapa ama nivunje,” she banged, I knew she couldn’t. She was just bluffing, “Fungua wewe mwanaume, senge,” she shouted, she was on fire and I knew if I opened she might hit me and I wouldn’t let that happen since my mom stopped hitting me when I was back in primary school “Is the whore in there too?” she asked Ellen, “No just him and the baby,” Ellen answered.

I went to the balcony “Okay mom please calm down,” I said, she looked up “What kind of man are you, open this door and tell me if my daughter is a puppet you can just toy with,” she shouted, her Mom was trouble and I could tell she wouldn’t sit down and talk like civilized people, ” okay I won’t open till you calm down” I said, she looked down and I knew she was looking for something to throw at me, I left the balcony and went to my bedroom, I decided to call my Mom and dad, well I did, then went back to the balcony, “Let my people come so that we can talk,” I said.

They agreed to all the conditions but the only one they didn’t agree with me is the one I said I’ll rent her an apartment. “I’m leaving here,” she shouted, btw my place was nice that’s why she couldn’t imagine not living there, her mom also wanted the best for her daughter so she agreed with her, I had no option than to accept but again I said if she’ll live there then I’ll have to buy a new place for Ellen, well she was jealous, but couldn’t disagree “You are doing too much for her,” Fancy complained “Well she’s my one and only wife,” I replied, “I’m your wife too,” she said, “Nooo, I’m not married to you, you’re just carrying my baby, but if I were asked I’d wish I had never met you,” I told her, “You met me so deal with it,” she was boasting, I told her I could never live with someone who we ain’t in good terms with, all we do is argue.

In the conditions, I said I’ll be spending only one night a week at her place well that took time for them to agree but I had made it clear it’s either take it or leave it. That day she felt like a winner. She went and took all the stuff in her place and brought them at my place, I wasn’t pleased, that night I spent it in the guest room, I had lost interest in her.

Next day I called Ellen’s dad and asked him for a one on one chat, he declined but I insisted since he was an understanding man he agreed and we met up in a restaurant in town. “Father, first I’m sorry for all the drama,” I started, he gave me his full attention, “I love Ellen, if I don’t live with her then I’ll have to be a single man forever,” I said, it was true I did love her cause she was my first, “What about fancy?” He said “She’s pregnant for you,” I told him man is to error, so me and Fancy was a big mistake that I highly regret, he didn’t take that lightly since Fancy was her daughter too, he asked about my plans, I told him Fancy had already moved into my house but I was thinking of buying a better place for me and Ellen. “Did you and Fancy discuss this?” He asked, I told him yeah she had agreed, well he accepted my suggestion I also asked him to talk to Ellen for me, or if it was hard I asked him to at least ask Ellen to talk to me since her mom won’t let me go any where close to her.

The dad was a good man he said he’ll talk to Ellen, time was up and we had to leave, I went back to my house, “Hey honey where have you been?” Fancy asked, “My business,” I said as I went to the guest house, “What are these pants still doing here” it was Fancys Mom in our bedroom, “Wait what is she doing here” I asked fancy, “She’s my Mom, I asked her to come leave with us,” she answered, I knew I was officially f*cked up, I started doing research to find a nice place far away from them, I even asked from my pals and told them if they heard of somewhere they should just let me know. Next day I tried Ellen’s phone it went through and this time around she picked but sounded like someone who had been crying ever since, I asked her to meet me up well she accepted, I was so happy and knew her dad had done his homework.

We met up all I did is apologize, apologize and more apologies, I told her about my plans she accepted and even told me she knew of a nice place, I suggested we go see the place, it was a bit far 3 hours drive, we arrived at the place I liked it but we couldn’t walk inside I just took the owners contact from a billboard next to it. I called him and we arranged an appointment for some negotiations.

We went back to our respective homes and agreed to meet the owner of the place on the next day together. Next day we met him up, closed the deal and the house was mine now, it was better than my previous one, I wanted to move in immediately, I went and told Fancy about the place and that I was leaving, she was furious and said I was going nowhere. I got irritated and left without my stuff, that is clothing, I decided I’ll do new everything, from furniture to clothing, everything, I went back and told her I’d be sending her money but if she tried anything stupid matters shall be settled in court.

I went to Ellen’s home, accompanied by my parents, asked their parents permission to be with her once more, I assured them we’d live the happiest life ever, well they accepted and Ellen and the baby moved in with me and I got back my family. Since that day Fancy has never step foot in my new house I don’t even know if she knows where it’s located, all I do is send her money on a monthly basis.

I also pay her a visit once per week but I don’t spend nights as we had agreed, she’s now 7 months paged and lives with her mom in my previous home. I hope she finds someone else to marry her and I hope she’ll never cause me trouble again, advise to all gentlemen out there stick to one wife, shit happens.

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