Slay queen

Time and time again we have heard the term ‘ Slay Queen.’ but as a man how can you identify a slay queen without misjudging innocent women?

Below are some characteristics of what is in a slay queen’s DNA;

1. Weave

Slay Queens are easy to identiy because they pretend to wear expensive wigs but truth is most of them are not authentic ni hizi za river road tu.

2. Wig

The same applies to wigs. Slay queens pretend to rock ‘expensive’ wigs yet most of them cannot even afford to buy themselves a drink or take a cab home.

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3. Long nails

Slay queens mostly have extremely long nails that leave you wondering how they handle bathroom business.

Most pay mama nguo to do their laundry ndio kucha zisivunjike.

Most thrive at the expense of men and all they know is to order out, after all the only thing they know is kupika mayai.

4. Incongruent taste (loves the high life, her life is on a shoestring budget)

They will pick the most expensive drinks and food just to prove they have class.

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5. Has an exotic accent but has never been South of Namanga

The only place they have been to is Uthiru and Kabete but girl their attitude is not even big enough to pay off Kenya’s debt to China.

6. Has a cracked phone screen

Most cannot handle their alcohol so their phone screen pays for it by cracking for falling so many times.

It looks like the web ‘spider man’ lives in.

7. She wears heels she cannot walk in

She wobbles rather clumsily with heels and what’s worse is the shoe is worn out, nkt, stick to your lane.

8. Her phone has military-grade security

Such women have so many men in their live and they cannot having their secrets uncovered. They have passwords for everything to their phone gallery, to sms and WhatsApp etc.

Ladies, here are lies men tell just to get you between the sheets

9. She is on a first-name basis with the local plug

Haezi risk kuconfuse majina so she keeps it simple by staying on a first name basis.

She will not tell you all her names lest you go and tag her on all your lovey dovey posts yet her wall is full of potentials sponsors.

10. Her braids are so long they can sweep the floor

We have seen such babes, their braids are so long making us wonder if we should hire someone to be holding them for her asitegwe.

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