Death comes with so much uncertainty.
When someone you care about is grieving, it is human nature to try to comfort them and help ease their pain.
However, sometimes the good intentions we have can be more harmful than helpful, particularly the things we often say with the intention to make them feel better.
Here are some of the things we should learn not to say to a grieving person.
- What can I do?
This puts them in the position of having to ask for help, which most people struggle with.
The best thing to do to is to just show up and do whatever it is you can or maybe just bring food over and eat with the grieving person.
But do not to ask or wait to be asked, instead just DO.
2. How did he/she die?
It is human nature to be curious, but some details are very painful for grieving people to talk about.
Do not ask about the cause of death and let them share the details if they feel comfortable doing so.
If you’re really that curious ask someone else who might know.
3. I know how you feel
It’s very important not to compare grief.
You might be able to relate to the grieving person’s pain, but remember that their time of grief is not about you, it is about them.
Instead, let the person know that you recognize that they are going through a difficult time and that you are thinking about them even when you are not around
You can show this by saying, ”You are in my thoughts and prayers during this difficult time.”
4. You are handling this better than I expected
Most likely they are just putting on a happy face.
Let the grieving person have the freedom to feel however they want even if time has passed since they lost the loved one.
Say comforting things like, ”you might not be feeling great, but that’s okay.”
In conclusion, we should remind the grieving that the pain of grief will surely fade away at some point and it will be replaced by the wholeness of love which is its origin.
And we should pray that the souls of the faithfully departed may forever rest beneath the wings of divine presence in perfect peace.