20 bob can do a lot of things in Njaanuary
20 bob can do a lot of things in Njaanuary

“Kumi Kumi… kumi kumi… kumi kumi”

As soon as he hears this, he dashes to the matatu. “10 BOB? Wow… this is a bargain!” He thinks to himself. He jumps in to the matatu.

On their way to town, the conductor changes his tune “Nilisema kumi kumi… si kumi mbili ni mbao?”. In my hood, most people don’t like to protest especially when matatus are scarce and they are running late for work.

In Njaanuary, the 20 bob coin is the most important coin. In fact, most transactions are conducted using this coin. Think about all the things you can purchase with a 20 bob in Nairobi. In fact, I should start a Vlog and come back with ’20 bob hacks’.

For starters, it can get you breakfast. You have two options. Chai na chapati or chai na mandazi mbili. Alternatively, with 20 bob you can buy 20 britania glucose biscuits (yes, I’m a bachelor and I know that glucose is good for that extra Njaanuary energy.)

If you are lucky enough and the conductor forgets to ask you for fare in the morning, you can use that 20 bob to buy new socks from Nairobi hawkers. If 20 bob is what you use for breakfast, chances are that you have torn socks.

Vegan? There is sukuma wiki for 20 bob. Ugali and sukuma is the preferred Njaanuary meal. You can sweeten it with a banana that only costs 10 bob. Heck, cut the banana and treat it like the meat.

“Niko hapa kejani nakula tuu kaugali na nyama banana” is a cool Njaanuary statement.

20 bob can also get you some cheap mineral water. Nobody really knows what 20 bob mineral water looks like and the good news is that you can use that to your advantage, using it as a status symbol. “Mi hukunywa mineral water tuu. Maji ya tap itaniharibia tumbo”.

20 bob can make you look like a philanthropist in Nairobi. With the influx of beggars in the streets, you can look like you are giving back to society. Just make sure that you take a selfie to brag about it and don’t mention how the beggar told you “Mbao peke yake? Hata sitaki hii pesa yako kidogo”

20 bob is what you use to pay the entitled watchman turned parking attendant in the street. “Si uniwachie kakitu?”. Also, why do watchmen act entitled to your money for doing their job and then indirectly threaten to stone your vehicle if you don’t pay?. I didn’t say “Ebu niangalilie hii gari” in the first place. I am tired of watchman cartels that fleece us of our coins. They could be the reason that Tuskys gives us sweets instead of coins as change.

20 bob can also buy you a shopping bag from the supermarket. Just a few months ago, plastic bags were free, but someone is now getting wealthy off supplying bags to supermarkets. Imagine, now I have to always have an emergency bag in my pocket just in case I need something from the supermarket.

Last week I was at a date and had the bag with me, she said “Is that a supermarket bag or are you just happy to see me?

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