The best Njaanuary excuses so far

Piece by: Random Like Arum
Exclusives

Kenyans love excuses. There will always be great excuses for anything. For example

Break up: My mom said that I shouldn’t date, plus the dog ate my homework

Here are some of the excuses that you've gotten away with this Njaanuary

  1. “Ningekulipa lakini hii betting tax imeniangusha kiasi”. If you owe someone some money, why not claim to be a beneficiary of sports betting sponsorship. That 35% tax is affecting your cash flow...
  2. “Matiangi has banned it”. If your friends insist that you host them at your place this Njaanuary, this is a great excuse. Hakuna kupatana kwa nyumba ovyo ovyo...
  3. “NEMA imesema kuna noise pollution” Remember that girl that you promised a date? Tell her that you usually eat the famous Jiweke platter and give this excuse. “Tutaenda Feb”
  4. “Hakuna night travel”. Your relatives from up country have probably been calling you up after you made an appearance in December looking like a wealthy politician. This is the perfect excuse for you now
  5. “Kenya Power ilizima taa” when your boss asks you why you got to work without taking a shower and have some creased clothes
  6. “Hakuna shisha huko” When your friends want you to get out of the house on a random Friday night
  7. “Nangoja swearing in kwanza” when the person you have been seeing asks you “Where is this relationship headed”
  8. “Elections ziliharibu economy” yes, this excuse is still valid in 2018