Kenyans love excuses. There will always be great excuses for anything. For example
Break up: My mom said that I shouldn’t date, plus the dog ate my homework
Here are some of the excuses that you've gotten away with this Njaanuary
- “Ningekulipa lakini hii betting tax imeniangusha kiasi”. If you owe someone some money, why not claim to be a beneficiary of sports betting sponsorship. That 35% tax is affecting your cash flow...
- “Matiangi has banned it”. If your friends insist that you host them at your place this Njaanuary, this is a great excuse. Hakuna kupatana kwa nyumba ovyo ovyo...
- “NEMA imesema kuna noise pollution” Remember that girl that you promised a date? Tell her that you usually eat the famous Jiweke platter and give this excuse. “Tutaenda Feb”
- “Hakuna night travel”. Your relatives from up country have probably been calling you up after you made an appearance in December looking like a wealthy politician. This is the perfect excuse for you now
- “Kenya Power ilizima taa” when your boss asks you why you got to work without taking a shower and have some creased clothes
- “Hakuna shisha huko” When your friends want you to get out of the house on a random Friday night
- “Nangoja swearing in kwanza” when the person you have been seeing asks you “Where is this relationship headed”
- “Elections ziliharibu economy” yes, this excuse is still valid in 2018
Boutross: Mimi siwezi mind kuwekwa