It’s so, so easy in the beginning.
You’d eyeball your partner suggestively, run your tongue around your lips and ask them to do things the average millennial would blush at.
It’s later, when you’re mates, that it starts to feel wrong somehow. Incestuous even.
You’re not alone if you feel like this – it’s normal to feel more embarrassed talking dirty as time goes on, rather than the reverse.
But there’s a good reason to get over it: talking dirty can transform your sex life.
It’s a cagey way of feeling out your partner about something you’d like to try in reality (gauge their interest level by heading in that direction), a sneaky way of directing their love-making without it sounding like you’re giving orders, it lets your partner know when they’re doing something right and you can do it when you’re apart to turn each other on.
The best reason of all to do it – it’s hugely erotic and damn good fun!
Target yangu sio kama ya Betty Kyallo. ‘Unless I am selling airtime or milk to the masses…’ Susan Kaittany screams
HOW TO DO IT
Pitch your voice lower than usual:
If you’re shy, whisper in their ear so there’s no eye contact or try blindfolding them or letting them blindfold you.
Keep it simple to start:
Describe what he’s doing to you. ‘You’ve got your hands on my breasts’. Add what that makes you feel, ‘….and it feels wonderful’. Describe what you’re doing or about to do to him. ‘I’m going to take you in my mouth’. Add what that makes you feel, ‘…and it makes me feel powerful. Like you’re in my control’.
Encourage your partner to talk dirty to you by asking, ‘Do you like that?’, ‘What does it feel like?’, ‘Do you want more?’, ‘What would you like me to do to you now. I’ll do anything….’.
Let them know where you’re at arousal wise: ‘Ummm, this is starting to feel really nice’ or ‘God, I’m so close’. Talk about how good the two of you are together, ‘I so love our sex together’.
Compliment body parts:
‘I love your muscles’, ‘You’ve got the best breasts I’ve ever seen’. Pause, draw back and let your eyes totally devour what’s in front of you, then look them straight in the eye and say ‘You’re beautiful. I want you so much’.
Let them know how much you want to please them: ‘I’m going to give you such an intense orgasm, you won’t know what’s hit you’.
Let him know how good he looks:
‘I love watching your face when you climax.’ Or give a blow-by-blow description of what’s going on, ‘Your tongue feels amazing. Ohmigod. Keep doing that. Don’t stop’.
Read out something sexy from a book or a magazine while your partner makes love to you.
Pay attention to body language:
Just because they’re not saying anything or coyly refusing to look you in the eye, doesn’t mean they’re not enjoying it! Are they breathing harder? You’re doing just fine, so keep going.
Give some cunningly disguised direction: ‘Use that lovely tongue of yours to lick me right there. Really soft. Swish it around. Just like that’.
Sit back and accept the compliment:
Bet it’s the best sex session you’ve had in years!