"Ni ya nyama?"

That's one of the most obnoxious questions you will hear coming from a mouth of a random Kenyan before they buy a sambusa (Barbies call it samosa). Someone will ask you to give them a second, while in essence they mean an hour.

For two hours, you've been are waiting for somebody at Freedom Corner in Uhuru Park and they tell you to "Kata simu nakuona!" and they are just alighting from a Rongai mathree at Railways bus station. Hizi zinaitwa tabia za kikenya!

Now, Nairobi senator Mike Sonko, loves some of the most weird mannerisms that truly define one as a Kenyan.

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"You appreciate you are in Kenya when you are in a matatu and you are paying 50bob which you are holding,folded twice lengthwise, ready to pay the makanga. The guy squeezed next to you holding his 100bob,without saying a word grabs your 50bob. You too say nothing.He then hands over his 100 bob note to makanga and again without saying a word or looking at you,shows the makanga two fingers (index and middle finger to be precise).The makanga says nothing and bypasses you. At that instant the small trade is settled without anyone having said even a murmur. Najivunia kuwa mkenya," he says.