Shaffie Weru a.k.a The Raverend is asking fellow Kenyans to join hands and embrace the spirit of forgiveness the same way the President, Deputy Prezzo and RAO are currently doing.
The Kiss Fm presenter reveals that he has a list of ten people he has chosen to forgive.
“2018 is the year of surprises. it’s started with the magical handshake that has now morphed too everybody saying sorry like Justin Bieber…So here is The Raverend’s top ten list of the people I have chosen to forgive,” Shaffie revealed
1. Taxi drivers who have big mouths and are know-it-alls…who put their clients in hot water by assuming shit; dropping the wrong girlfriend at the wrong house or calling her by the wrong name because their thick heads believe I only have one girlfriend.
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2. Tailors and fundi wa furniture. I forgive you all for the lies you tell…for all the events I had to attend with half an outfit because of your lies and ability to ignore deadlines…As for the fundi wa mbao, I forgive you for stealing my deposit and also for the late delivery of the wrong furniture. That’s why I buy imported s**t because I can’t deal with your lies no more.
3. Watchmen; askaris/soldiers: I forgive you for treating me like s**t every time I left my ID card and you decided I will miss my appointment with my date because you’re the master…I also forgive all watchmen/soldiers for snitching on me to my many girlfriends…Yes, you thought I didn’t know. They tell me all that crap you feed them when they come to visit…”huyu mzee yuko na wasichana mob” you’re all forgiven.
4. Police/afande/karao. I forgive you all for all the time you have wasted in the name of upholding the law and made #TheRaverend cough up kitu kidogo without even knowing what crime I have committed.
5. Traffic cops. I forgive you all for always arresting me for using my phone while driving. I know it’s a crime but why do you have to hide in the bushes to catch me??? And why do you guys only check for expired insurance and DL at end month????
6. Waiters/hostesses. I know you inflate that bill every night past midnight and still demand a tip, but I forgive you all of you.
7. Landlords/caretakers. I forgive you for always giving me water bills yet I know we have a borehole in our complex. I also forgive you for never repairing s**t when it’s broken but you’re always so quick to collect service charge.
8. Fake club/disco pals. I forgive you for never paying any bill but always “kudandia” drinks za watu kwa club…I know you don’t know me or care for me but you pretend we are BFFs when the bottles are coming. I forgive you!
9. Slay queens who ask for cab fare and never show up for the date. I forgive you too
10. Chips funga. If you’re chipoo and you wake up in a dude’s house steal his remote and his decoder’s smart card thinking it’s an ATM card, we forgive you too.