KDF

Over the weekend, an account (whether fictitious or not) about an uber driver’s sojourn into hell as the hostage of a member of our defense forces went viral.

CONFESSIONS OF A KENYAN UBER TAXI DRIVER

The excerpt in part reads as follows:

He chuckles then runs his palm down his face. His smile no longer seems sad. Or lonely. Or painful. Now he looks like he’s having fun. Finally.

Him: Daniel…

Secretly hoping he’ll say he was just kidding.

Me: What!

Him: I am going to deep my hand inside my coat. Then when I pull it out, I will be holding a 1911 Colt .45 semi-automatic sidearm. I will cork it, then I will slowly lift it to your head (points at my temple) right here and I will not even count to three. I will just shoot you dead.

He looks right into my eyes so severely I am downright scared now. And he seems so calm like he has done this a million times.

Him: Do you want me to kill you right now Daniel? Trust you me, I will kill you. Then I will drive myself to Donholm with your headless body bleeding in the seat I’m occupying right now. Because that’s what a Colt .45 will do to you. It will behead you.

I don’t bother to ask if he actually had a gun. I start the car immediately and drive fast towards Ruiru because the last thing I want is for him to ask me to take him home to my wife and kids.

Yeah well, the Ministry of Defence has come out to issue a statement on the same and it isn’t about to be “business as usual” as they are currently searching for the soldier who reportedly held the Uber driver at gunpoint.
Their statement in part reads:

We would like to inform the public that if you know the whereabout of this person alias ‘Daniel’ please report to any authority near you or call 911…
Approach with caution as the man is heavily armed with 2 IED grenades on his possession.

The full statement is attached below:

KDF statement

After typing up this very long piece, I was informed this was a fake post. KDF never really issued this statement.

kenyan crying lol

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