Plastic bags have been banned. Yes …you can be fined for having a plastic bag in Kenya.

What Kenyan habits will be affected by the plastic bag ban? My random thoughts:

1. The ladies who wear them on their heads when it rains. Boyfriends, if you thought the economy was bad, it’s about to get worse. Expect a “Haki sweetie nitumie pesa ya salon? Nywele ilinyeshewa jana. Paperbag ban inatuumiza. Love you boo”

2. Flying toilets. Flying toilets in Kibera, a practice inspired by the sling that David used to kill goliath will no longer happen. It scares me to think that we will now probably having flying newspapers

3. Paperbag of paberbags. Every Kenyan has a paperbag of paperbags in their house. A paperbag that hosts all the other paperbags. I suspect that there will be a paperbag blackmarket soon or even better, it will become a pick up line “Hi sweetie…. I own some paperbags. Gimme your number”. Or when someone is rich, people will start rumours of “Huyo msee huuza paperbags….. hio biz ina pesa”

4. Men walking with kiondoos to the shop. Remember that kiondoo wedding gift from your grandma? The one that you hid in the basement after you took it home? That’s the one you will carry when you go to the shops to buy some milk. On that note, can Kenyan designers come up with a masculine kiondoo? Serikali saidia

5. “Manyake” by circuit and Joel will now be played over the next few months because our local Djs will assume that “Juala ndio unahitaji” is the funniest thing ever

6. Kenyans will now travel abroad to take photos with plastic bags as a status symbol. Wait for the headline ‘Vera Sidika seen with plastic bags in Dubai’. Expect Instagram videos of “Heeeeeeeey guuuuuuuuys….. soooo, I garra new plastic bad….” #PlasticBag #Juala #GettingPaperBag

7. Kenyans will have a weird paperbag story “Manze….. nililala ndani. Kuna juala ya mayai boiro westie yenye nilisahau kwa mfuko. Nililipa thao kumi”

8. Jimmy Gait will sing a song called “Yesu ni paperbag yangu”

Enjoy the juala ban my friends...