In the latest NYS scandal that was the big news this week, it’s been reported that towels worth sh. 100,000/= each were supplied. Yes, sh. 100,000/= is actually a hundred thousand shillings in words. Whoa!! For a towel.

Anyway, this got us working overtime. Our team did some good investigations and found out the various miracles that a sh. 100,000/= towel can perform and we were blown away. These towels are awesome! I hope we can each buy one soon.

  1. They can dry you via wi-fi (wireless drying)
    Remember those moments when you forgot your towel in the bedroom and had to perform that 100 Meter Usain Bolt dash from the bathroom to the bedroom? With the sh. 100k towel, this happens no more. This is now a problem from the past. This 100k towel has voice control and you can summon it from the luxury of the bathroom. “Taulo, kuja! Nilisahau kukuleta.”
  2. Is also a duvet, sweater and shower curtain.
    This is actually the ultimate bachelor towel. If you are a rich and lazy bachelor, imagine how fancy it becomes to have such a towel? On a cold day right after your shower, you just jump in to bed without worrying about a thing. Moreover, on a cold day, you do Netflix and towel. This towel will cuddle you!
  3. It can wipe your sins away.
    The 100k towel is able to wipe a Kenyan’s sins away. Especially the sins of corruption.
  4. When the towel retires from being a towel, it will be able to clean your house on its own.
    It is a well known fact that towels in Kenyan households retire to become mops. This sh. 100k mop will be able to do the house cleaning on its own without supervision and cook as you just bring home the bacon. Your house-help will have a house-help.
  5. They kill the 0.01% of germs that Dettol has been unable to kill.
    We know that Dettol kills 99.9% of germs. To kill all the germs, just buy Dettol and the 100k towel.
  6. A 100k unlike other towels does not need to be washed.
    With that said, if we shower to get clean, why do towels get dirty? The sh. 100k towel is wash proof.