Avocado
Avocado
  1. Flowers.
    Next valentines, mwanaume ni kununua avocado tano and having your nduthi guy deliver them to bae’s office. Besides, she cant eat flowers, right? Imagine being able to feed and moisturize her skin? Double win. Imagine your girlfriend bragging to her friends “Aki Kevo bought for me 5 avocados…….” Then they say “Aki si you have the best boyfriend in the world?” Then in the morning she calls Maina on Classic FM saying “Maina….. Kenyan man are good…. Mimi niliangukia mwenye anajua kuchagua avocado imeiva….. Kenyan men are good”
  2. Change at supermarkets.
    I hate being given sweets as change. Supermarkets should consider giving us avocado instead. Huwezi kula chakula na patco. “Madam, hakuna change? Leta avocado mbili hapo basi nitakula na hizi chapatti kesho asubuhi breakfast…… lete yenye imeiva”
  3. Tomato sauce ya mayai bioro or smokie.
    Its 2017 and nobody has invented avocado sauce? This world is such a letdown. Entrepreneurs, you are letting us down. Invent that guac sauce ASAP. Imagine mayai boiro westie having guac sauce? Mimi nitatumia 5000 on eggs instead of mzinga. “Boss…. Vunjia kila mtu mayai kumi na uweke guac sauce…. Hii njaa imezidi leo”
  4. The love-heart emoji.
    What better says I love you than an avocado? In fact, ever since I called my girlfriend ‘Avocado’ she has become so much happier. I love you avo…… (I really talk about the fruit, lakini hajui”
  5. Currency.
    LETS USE AVOCADO AS THE MEDIUM OF ECHANGE. Imagine going to buy a mansion “Mzito… hii nyumba ni how much?” “Leta tuu Avocado 30 alafu ni yaku…..” “Mi niko na 28… nipe avocado discount baana….” “Sold”
Avocado Is Bae. Photo / @bytesteps
Avocado Is Bae. Photo / @bytesteps
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