President Uhuru Kenyatta takes his oath of office for a second term at Kasarani stadium in Nairobi, November 28, 2017. /MONICAH MWANGI
President Uhuru Kenyatta takes his oath of office for a second term at Kasarani stadium in Nairobi, November 28, 2017. /MONICAH MWANGI

Finally, Kenya inaugurates the president. To be honest, there are other things in Kenyan society that deserve to be inaugurated because they are equally important for the stability of the country.

What are these things?

  1. Ile kuku ya Christmas. Yes, that chicken has kept many a family from conflict. That chicken deserves an official inauguration in the presence of the whole family. Also, why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was Jogoo road (I am sorry)
  2. Avocado. We have to inaugurate avocado for making average meals epic. From githeri, bread, milk, plain ugali, soda water, nduma, tea…….
  3. People we are dating. There is no ceremony to acknowledge the person we are dating. Why only save it for marriage? You would be more secure if everybody knew who you were dating. Who wants to be a ‘Chini ya maji’. These inaugurations should be held at Uhuru park every week. Mass inaugurations to be televised on national TV ndio watu wajue chali ama dem ni wa nani.
  4. Githeri man and KC Coconut for uniting Kenyans during the August elections. KC Coconut brought us together with the “Tuchangie mzinga” as people put aside their ethnic biases for a just cause. Githeri man made us cry about the plastic bag ban because we all lamented “Sasa hatuwezi kula ugali ya juala?”
  5. Mama wa cake” at weddings. Nobody wields more power than mama wa cake at weddings. She is a president on her own right and determines whether you will be happy or sad at a wedding.
  6. The bank robbers who dug a tunnel. Those guys should be inaugurated as the kings of crooks. Wakienda kamiti, wakuwe sworn in.
  7. Friends who have a power bank at the club. Remember when your phone was dying and you wanted to take that kaselfie with KC Coconut then your friend said “Nikon a power bank”. These people deserve inauguration

Other people worth noting are mtura guy, cleaning ladies, odi dance (Twende brayo)

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