Why is there always an estate harlot at the local? Where I imbibe the sweet nectar of the gods, there is one. She is just 23 but looks like she is 36. No, really, she is 23 going on 36. She is always looking haggard & distressed, not much unlike Louis Otieno. She allegedly hails from a middle class family.

After being kicked out of home by my mother for dropping out of university, I squatted at my brother's, and Jerry was kind enough to let me squat in his servant's quarter till I got on my feet & now live on my own. Why have I put in this bit of information? To explain how it was that I first encountered her.

I would drink with Jerry & a friend of ours called Kone and a cousin of ours called Kev (Jerry's house was something of a frat house). Seeing as I was perennially broke, I had to drink with this three adventurers at the slum that mushroomed within Lang'ata.

Anyway, while on one of our pub crawls, I met the lass. It was a Tuesday night & I was playing pool against Jerry while Kone & Kev were hitting on the lass.

Unfortunately, neither could seal the deal because Kone was in a relationship (yes, there are still honorable men in Kenya) & Kev couldn't do much because the house was full & I would hear none of letting him use my S.Q.

The next time I met her, she was with some other local yocols who took her home. The next time I met her, two men were fighting for the pleasure of enjoying her call-booth fruit (simu ya jamii anyone?).

I didn't see her for a while after that because I had always hated going drinking at the slum so I begun to opt out.

The next time I heard of her, my ever thirsty cousin from the village Kev, had been with her in a bush at the back of the house.

Now herein lies my question, why would a lass from a middle class family do this to herself? And (because I, Uncle Chim Tuna cannot fathom why) would a girl accept to sleep with a man who is buying her Kenya King, Meakins or the entire host of cheap devil's piss that the useless youth in Lang'ata drink? And is this a phenomenon only found in Lang'ata or is this the trend at every local?

Oh, Kev is fine. He used protection. Last I heard about the lass though, she is pregnant & honestly doesn't know who the father is.