There has been a recent influx of single men in Nairobi, which is a worrying trend. The number of mothers saying “Utaoa lini” has tripled over the past few years. On the behalf of concerned mothers and Nairobi ladies, today we will show all the single men how to get a babe (girlfriend) from Nairobi and in Nairobi.

1. Buy a powerbank… and always have it. The typical Nairobian lady takes 65,888 selfies a day and her phone battery is bound to be drained. A smart man will strategically place himself in a restaurant waiting for a “Niko na powerbank extra hapa? Whats your name?” moment. We will soon me attending your wedding as you say “Nilikuwa na powerbank extra hio siku… akaingia box. That’s how we met”
2. Buy her food. The quickest way to a typical Nairobi girl's heart is food. Luckily, there are many low cost restaurants in Nairobi with great food. You don’t even have to say much. Just text her the word “Food?”. Why, you ask? Nairobi guys have a terrible reputation of taking girls for dates at bars. Be different and take advantage of food. Nairobi girls cant resist food. Few years later when your kids ask you “How did you meet mummy?", you will respond “Kuna hii kibanda ilikuwanga na chapati kubwa. Nilipeleka mamii hapo… akaingia box”
3. BUY FOR HER AVOCADOS. No explanation needed. Avocado is the universal love language.
4. Get her some shoes. If you've had the privilege of walking with a lady friend, you know that they have a disposition for shoes. They can't stop themselves when it comes to shoes. The average lady in Nairobi wears high heels even though she is walking for long distances. Guys, trust me. You don’t even need much. If you are going out to dance, make sure you know her shoe size and buy those black Bata ngomas for 300 bob. She will love you for it. Always have a pair of Bata ngomas at your disposal in case she gets tired of walking in heels. Mwanaume ni ku think ahead. Now she will tell her girlfriends “Aki he bought me flats” and they will all say “Marry him”. True story.
5. Understand simple make up terms. No lie, those things are hard. Learn what a contour, palette, highlight, double-cleanse, highlighter etc and comment on them randomly. “What self tanner did you use to contour? It looks beautiful”

Good luck getting a girlfriend in Nairobi. Invite me for your wedding.