“Beep Beep... Beep Beep” off my alarm clock goes. The disgusted look on my face tells it all. “It's bloody 6AM already?” ...ok luckily, it's still 5:56. “Four more minutes” I say to myself. “Let me just rest my eyes”
The next time I'm waking up, it's 7AM
“Wolololo, I'm late... hio jam itanipata!”
I take a quick shower and put on my half ironed clothes. “Aki leo boss atanimaliza... woi”. I take bread and the left over new year's chaser soda for breakfast. Shamelessly devouring them as I make way to the car. “Songa haraka... jinga wewe” I curse the other drivers on the road.
When you are late, everything becomes much clearer. Everyone is against your prosperity.
“Sasa huyu mjinga anaenda wapi?”
By a miracle, you are not so late to work. You get that text from your boss.
“Where are you? The meeting is about to start? Where is the report?”
‘LIFT UNDER MAINTENANCE’ the first statement you read as you walk in. Now you have to walk through 5 flights of stairs on a stomach that had breakfast consisting of the famous zero diet. Bread and soda.
“Pheeeeeeeeew!!” a sigh of relief after you finally make to the office. You feel a drop of sweat on your butt crack and head to the bathroom to clear out that facial sweat.
“Haiyauuuuwi... sikupaka cologne!!!” you remember as you feel that sweat scent in the air. “If I'm able to smell myself, how are others feeling?”
You suddenly become religious “Father…… I know that I committed bad sins during the New Year. Please forgive me ...I’m sorry.”
Things couldn’t possibly get worse, but they do.
You are hounded in the meeting. You weren’t prepared and you know that the bosses are angry by their skeptical questions. The feedback doesn’t look good. You have struggled through butt crack sweats to try your best… but even your best is mediocre.
You start to move on and are finally setting down. “Sasa, chai imebaki?”
You are frowning at your phone in disappointment. The office tea had run out. “Kwani nani alimaliza yote?” Then you remember that there are new interns in the office and competition for office tea just became fierce.
You can't go for lunch because of all the pending December work. You are now regretting all the debit card swiping and merry making. The office is hell. Everybody else seems like a headless chicken who is still on holiday mode.
People are still talking about “Heh, I went to coasto for my holidays… what abut you?”. It seems like high school all over again. You are the kid who didn’t have a great holiday, you didn’t do your holiday homework and you were just watching KBC.
Its just Day 1 of 60. Njaanuary has just begun!