Joy Kawira Furaha

A woman’s place is in the kitchen.

That is an Old Testament approach to marriage that irks many a woman. And just incase you’re wondering what my thoughts are on that phrase or on marriage, I have none to share. I am probably not going to marry.

But I do have a man who is in my life -my uncle- who has alot to say on the matter. And alot to say about my generation. According to him, the only way to sustain a marriage is for the two involved to play their traditionally assigned roles as man and woman. Man provides leadership through provision and protection, woman nurtures.

If you and your partner are dumb enough to enter into such an archaic union, then you should play by it’s archaic rules.

Somehow, I get the feeling Kawira (real names Joy Karambu) and her husband, a pastor cum gospel singer by the name Ephantus Wahome weren’t given the playbook when they jumped the broom. In an interview with e-daily (I am actually perplexed as to why people give such dope interviews to such bottom of the barrel, barely visible blogs such as these) the couple opened up about how they nearly called it quits afew days after they were wed:

ephantus and kawira

Ephantus Wahome said,

“Joy and I really struggled, we could not agree on anything. I am that guy who is a hardliner and I expected my principles to be followed, I thought a woman’s place is the kitchen. I expected her to submit fully and I wasn’t willing to change. The good thing is that Joy and I had gone through very educative pre-marital lessons. It is in those sessions I realized there is a theory part in marriage. The institution of marriage requires commitment and sacrifice. You come together two adults from different backgrounds with different ideologies. In fact, it is easy to break up the first night and if you manage to come out of the honeymoon, then be ready to fight the giants the first five months. Being selfless and determination is the drive factor in the first few months,” 

As for Kawira, what she said was:

“It was hard! I have not been raised by a man and with boys around. So, I was wondering why my husband was telling me what to do; why we should go to church together, why I couldn’t go to my mum’s place the way I wanted, why I couldn’t hook up with my friends the way I used to, basically why were things changing.  At my parents’ house, I wasn’t cooking since I was the last born – so I was thrown into a world where I had to cook every day. He had issues with that but I learnt to submit. Submission doesn’t hurt at all, if a woman does so the husband often fulfills everything she asks for,”

It would seem washing dishes and cooking for your “better half” is now grounds for seeking a divorce or having marital woes.

kawira and ephantus