Opinion: What men think of women who hit on them #IfikieLillianMuli

Piece by: kim koima
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It has always been the norm for men to make moves on women they like. But that is slowly changing, some women nowadays are bold enough to express how they feel about you.

Toxic masculinity doesn’t allow for this kinda thing, it demands control and there is no control in a woman hitting on you.

Most men are afraid of women who know what they want, say what they want and do what they want.

Lilian Muli a Kenyan media personality recently said that she approaches the men she likes. She likes a guy, she doesn’t wait for him to ask her out, she does the damn thing!

There is nothing men are more afraid of than women who have masculine energy. They feel intimidated, it’s like somebody is finally measuring up to their level.

Men love power, they always wanna be in control because it gives them an impression that they are in control of their destiny.

He would rather he made the first move but when a woman hits on a guy like this, he will feel cornered and weak so trust me he will make a run for it. His toxic mind can’t allow a woman to move on him like that.

Regardless of our cultural beliefs, we all can agree that we came from somewhere, there is something that sparked us being here. Men have always been the providers, since time immemorial.

In this century though, more and more women are becoming independent every day. Most of them do not depend on men to provide for them at this age, they go out and make their own money.

These women are business-minded, bold, smart and not to forget independent. They see a guy they like, they play the first card easy.

Men are always at a loss when it comes to this typa women, they have money so that can’t be used as a convincing tool. They provide for themselves so the only reason they will need a man is for sex and companionship.

Men hate being useless, the need to provide is what keeps them going.

Now imagine this, you are a man drinking with your boys club at some club in town. A woman comes to your table and asks you over to their table, she even wants to buy you a drink.

You are a normal African man so shock hits you, this rarely happens especially in Nairobi. Its women who are always after free booze and not the other way round.

The next feeling is fear, she is willing to buy you exactly what you were drinking. Not only is she bold but she can totally afford you!

It’s obvious that you can’t throw money at her face, your boys are here waiting for your reply. Most men will say "No. Thank you." when put in this situation.

A woman who goes for what she wants is very sexy, at least to some men, very few men. Women are like babies, they are delicate and need a lot of pampering.

When you commit to her, as a man you feel the need to protect her, provide for her and make sure she is happy.

But not all women are like babies, some have outgrown that stupid stage and are fully-fledged females. This trait of independency can be attractive to men especially the ones who are not financially stable.

As a broke man, there is nothing as good as smashing a hot independent woman without spending a dime!

Even in the animal world, male species are the ones who make moves on females. It is like there is an unspoken rule of nature that men are the ones allowed to show sexual desire.

A woman who openly talks about what she wants is seen to be in her hoeing phase, she is to wait until she is spoken to. This is why when a man sleeps with several women he is praised, a woman will be called a hoe if she tries this.

I think this behaviour is backward, women should be free to express their feelings especially in love and sex.

Silence can sometimes be mistaken for wisdom but not always. There is this breed of women who feel very entitled, they like you but will not tell you.

This is so stupid and childish, you have feelings for someone just say it, and the worst that can happen is rejection.

Most girls are like this, they have feelings for you but you will never know, they imagine they are giving you signals but all these signalling is done in their minds.

The highest form of self-oppression. You want something say it!