Niko na cash sina Mpesa, nigetuma kitambo...Top 20 Kenyan lies

Piece by: Joy Mburu
Exclusives

Kenyans have a euphemistic way of lying.  They don't even lie they just give you a statement but we just know that it isn't happening.

So here are some of the indirect statements used to tell lies that come out of the mouth like a snake's forked tongue.

Kata simu nakupigia

Mnafunga saa ngapi

As soon as you finish campus bring your papers

Kuna deal nangoja iivane

Ile deni yako bado nakumbuka nitakulipa nikilipwa

Ile jam iko hapa ngara..... and by then they are still at home

Si ni mimi huyo nakuona simama hapo

Nishatoka kwa nyumba

Nilikuwa nauliza bei nikipata pesa nitakuja

Naenda hivi nacome

Nimetumia ungeitisha jana

Hii nyumba watu wengi wameitisha lipa tu sai alafu utaingia bado

Fundi carpenter  tailor-  hii ni kazi ndogo kuja kesho itakuwa ready

Hii kiatu ni size yako chukua tu  ukivaa vaa itastretch

Dakika tano tu niko karibu kufika

Umejificha side gani ya hii kenya vyenye nimekutafuta- and by then the person has never even texted  you

Ata nilikuwa karibu kukupigia ukapiga mbele

Cheque iko ready nangoja signature ya mdosi

Wacha hii corona iishe tuone chenye tutafanya

Kajam kananiweka

Nitakupigia nikitoka meeting

Niko na cash sina mpesa otherwise ningekutumia

Ingia hii mat ata imejaa inatoka sai - saa hiyo watu wamejaza tu viti.