Love Ladies

Stress is killing many married women in this our Kenya, Ohhh! Being a wife is a burden. Kama hupigani na mipango za kando, you are in a marriage where you feel like you are a single mum with benefits. Yaani mzee anatoa pesa ya maziwa nad once in a while unapata lungula.

A Nairobi based wife has said enough is enough, she is not going to go through marriage with drama. Durama wachia soap opera.

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Here is her secret to any wife who is stressed by their man.

“Women who wants to “keep” a man please stay clear from silly “Fascinating woman” book. Men do not give a hoot about ass licking wives. Stick to your life and do not be afraid. Let the man worry about you. In fact if you love and want to keep your man, read and repeat only two books in your life. “Why Men love Bitches” and “Power of pussy”. I’m telling you this as an older wife. When I met my DH 15yrs ago, I was drinking like a fish. But I used to be extra smart. I was working and earning. Nilikuanga na Sponsor who could land in the pub and tell my whole girl squad hataki kuona machupa cheap, cheap kwa meza… He wants to start afresh. Holidays and all. Then I met my Mr. Left. Incidentally I never had any intentions of pulling him to the right. No. Life was so good, it never gave me a second to feel desperate of marriage. Least I forget I was 30yrs and never slept worried about marriage. The bitchy me had great time with both men. I will say it… I had sex with my DH on our first date. So do not take hii crap ya 90 day rule. Mtu atapotea ukijifanya holy joe hapo… hahaha… I got married nonetheless not because I wanted to, but this man hunted me hata nikitoka job nampata hapo amekuja kunichukua. So I would end up in his house more than my Mum’s house. Eish, I gave up!. Now back to the issue of Fascinating woman; that book is just a disaster especially to young wives. After I had my 2 babies I realised that my DH was turning cold. Something normal but usually makes young wives panic and die of stress. Sasa hapa make no mistake of meeting those advisors who will tell you to read and practice Fascinating woman and watch war room… Waaa…my friend this will be the end of your little remaining marriage peace. Book nikasoma… ati men love long hair, some ribbons here and there… saa hiyo huyo mwanaume hata hakuangali.”

“Silly you!. Ati start by apologising. Apologize for what?. Ati start removing his shoes akifika jioni… saitan, nowadays I’m there Kmnu bila stress. Let me just say after I started putting that backward book into practice I was out of my marriage before the year ended.”

“The man became bubu, haongei. Safari kila saa hata nikitoka huko hakuwa. Mimi na fascinating zangu I was out. Sasa hapa if the man loves you atakufuata. Hiyo ni bahati yako. Mimi nilirudi after kufuatwa. But I got back with demands and some serious horns. What happened is when I was alone and rocking my life proper, I happened to read the only real women survival books – Power of pussy and Why men love bitches. Those book need to be put in all girls syllabus. Those two books gives you an attitude and knowledge that men are not important than women. I love the emotional blackmail taught to women in those 2 books.”

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Last time I advised that women must learn not to share all their secrets, plans, success, fears and failures with their husbands mukasema hiyo ni yangu. I repeat, guard your emotions, hata kama DH ame kukasirisha act like that is child play. Turn him into your puppet. Keep him worried and wondering what you are up to. Jipende. Have your “me” time. Do not loose your girlfriends and assume your DH will be listening to all your mushene and worries like most said in that post.

“Men hate that. He will disrespect you hata ukimwambia either anajibu vibaya ama ana smile and ignore. Tafuta kitu ya kupass time, go to the saloon ama find a side hassle. Go to town just to eat lunch and sip some juice hata akiwa home. Some of you cannot go to pee ati DH ako home. Lastly, get your own money. Stop borrowing pesa ya pads na wembe ya kunyoa fudhi.”

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