Dating a sponsor is a full-time job, complete with deliberate ground rules, like not calling at certain hours. He is the man a woman would save as ‘Mzee wa Stima’ on her phone.
“I don’t fear anything because when you are dating a married man, there are limitations he will put,” Fauzia explains.
First, you are not supposed to call him at night but just send him a message. You are also not supposed to expose yourself to his wife.
“I am not supposed to call him when he says he is home. If his wife learns about you, don’t look for the wife to quarrel her because he (sponsor) will go away,” she says.
As for selfie lovers, you are not supposed to take photos with his phone. Wambui says,
“If am videoing in his car, he should not be seen with me. I can be seen in those big hotels but not him, his number plates should also not be seen.”
“I have been having sponsors for six years now and I can’t stay without them in my life, it is adventurous. I can’t date a young man because they will limit money for me. Right now I just call and I get what I want.
It is fine for me because I am happy and living without fear. I use PrEP (a pill taken by negative people to protect them from contracting HIV), although I also use protection just in case of condom burst.”
Regarding the potential of clashes, Fauzia said:
“I make sure I schedule all my sponsors such that they cannot meet. I meet one and lie to the other that I have gone for a business trip.
The life that I am living you cannot live without. It is fun and adventure. I have three sponsors. One pays my Sh12,000 rent and does my shopping monthly. The second one pays school fees for my sister and the third is for travelling, and he is the most frequent one I meet. As a lady, I don’t allow them to come to the house. They shop for me and drop the shopping then we go and hang out outside Nairobi because they are all married and their wives are within.”
The two women said they are content living with sponsors, and they don’t regret their decision so long as they abide by the wishes of the sponsors.
“We admire to have our own husbands, but when the guy comes and tells me his wife is complaining that she is not getting enough money, then I think sticking with sponsors is the best,” Wambui said.
“For those who have parents, make sure you work hard, and for those who don’t have parents and have sponsors, be safe, follow their limits.”