marriage proposal

A Nairobi based man has given fisilets a tutorial on how to get and keep men, hata wale wa Team Mafisi Sacco. His advice is from the stone age, but he swears that it works.

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The man advises shisha smoking city girls on the little secrets that will win them a man.

He writes,

Ladies, this is the fastest way to get a man to marry you

1. Circumcise yourself from all forms of social media. Men are attracted to innocent looking ladies not the vinyangarikas who are all over the place tagging, adding, tweeting, whatsapping, instagramming, snapuchatting

2. Ditch the Samsung 7 for a mulika mwizi. Pretend WHATSAPP is a greeting

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3. Be home every evening of every day of every month of every year. Men love stability

4. You have only one friend and she is seriously saved and leads a choir in some very mainstream church…finger of god apana

5. Remember you must be home early, if you’re on a date do not let it extend past 8pm. Make him escort you to your mat stop ata kama uko na gari uta rudia badaye

6. Short dresses and tight trousers are only for the beach, remember the longer the dress the better.

At the end he has a fine print clause. He writes,

“Ma dame wa mucatha na eastlands need not read this….they are beyond redemption!!”

I Was Born With Natural Juju Between My Legs, No Nairobi Man Can Resist Me, Brags City Girl