Yo! Top of the morning to you and yours. Been down in South Africa for a few days and culture shock has rocked me.

You see, in Kenya, more so in Nairobi, just like Lagos, we have alot of hustle and bustle. The CBD is filled to the brim with both vehicular and human traffic. And seeing as the hawkers are back to claim their piece of the Kenyan dream, calling Mike Sonko's Nairobi County chaotic is to insult the dark gods of chaos.

Anyway, back to the contrasts. As I said earlier, they hit you right from the airport. Service is slow and not aggressive. In Nairobi, people hassle to get you at their booths. In Capetown, you come as you want. The guys at the booths aren't about the life of sweating to serve you.

Once you're outside the airport, the cleanliness is yet another thing that grabs your attention -and it's not just at the airport. JKIA is very clean but afew minutes drive from the airport and you have to face the realities of Mike Sonko's Nairobi County -garbage.

Once my guys and I had left the airport, I decided to jump on my Instagram and Whatsapp caller to let the haters keep up with my prosperity and let my mother know this land-loving son of hers had landed safely. I had managed to find the only place giving free sim cards because I am Kenyan and the superpower I have is for smelling out free things.

That was when the third contrast hit me. Bundles here cost an arm and a leg! The 30-day plan is an offer for 600MB that costs 100Rand. Basically, 1000/- for 600MBs!

And Uber prices are so expensive I had to be bundled into the car by my guys for me to accept the ride! I was livid! Afterall, I am Kenyan, I can just run to the damn hotel! What is all this nonsense about paying 2,000/- or 200Rand for a 10minute drive?! I have shamed the Kenyan gods of frugality! Bah! And they had the audacity to ask me to split the bill like I was consulted when the decision to call the uber was made.

Speaking of the hotel, I thought I'd get some reprieve for my internet bundles expense. Man like Chim cannot be living and working just for bundles! Man like Chim works to eat. That was when I realized how wonderful the internet speeds in Nairobi are. Hell, even the backwaters of Samburu have better internet reception and speeds than Capetown. Such a developed, clean and organized city and yet such garbage internet connectivity. And the hotel was no reprieve. Calling my mother had me asking,

"Can you hear me? Hello, I can't hear you."

So much for Whatsapp caller. My mother, exasperated, called her only son (me) to find out how this land lover's flight was.

By the time the conversation was done, I was famished. The Igbo in me needed to be fed! And the Igbo in me decided to have a look at the menu. He went blind.

I did some quick calculations and decided I didn't need to eat afterall, internet bundles might just be more of a necessity. So I humbled myself, bought those exorbitant bundles, loaded up and downloaded Tinder. People use it to find love or sugar daddies but I have evolved to transcend all that. I am on Tinder looking for my meals.

Now, we shall see if my gamble has paid off. Keep it Mpasho for more as Mpasho experiences Capetown.