Money sometimes complicates relationships because no one is really ever sure of how to handle it. Nine out of ten breakups in relationships are due to money.

Money is just like any other element of a relationship, both of you need to sit down and agree on how you will spend your income such that no one ends up feeling like their partner is a liability.

When it comes to dating and commitment, women can be one of the best cash managers if they want to. This is not always the case though as most women like to depend on their men for every little expense they can think of.

There has always been this question; who is supposed to pay for food on a date? Some argue that the man should take care of the bill to show that he is ready for responsibilities. Most women often pretend to be on their phones when the waiter brings the cheque.

It’s not food alone though, when you are living together with your other half there are a lot of expenses to be paid; rent, shopping, electricity, water, internet and any other thing that needs money around the house.

Let us not sugarcoat, most of the men in Nairobi cater for everything. Women have been heard saying ‘My money is mine, your money is ours’. Even if she is working she is not willing to spend a dime on anybody but herself, she sometimes even asks her man for saloon dough.

Everybody has different lifestyles and spending habits. You get into a relationship and you realize that what you love about life is worlds apart from what your soul mate prefers.

You have expensive tastes in fashion, vacations, food, phones, cars and any other material thing; you just love the good things in life.

Your man on the other hand would rather spend little and save the rest rather than chopping it all up. This is where arguments start; he is trying to invest for sake of the relationship’s future whereas you just wanna live in the moment.

Sometimes when the man is the one paying for everything and his wallet is not that full, he will suffer trying to sustain your expensive lifestyle.

If both of you are working then it’s better because that means money is coming in from two channels. It is so rare to find a working couple earning the same amount of money, one will always be earning higher than the other.

This can sometimes lead to ego and power plays; the one earning the most will have a feeling of entitlement and will tend to dictate things around the house.

As a man when your woman is bringing in more money than you, thoughts of being a lesser man will always be running through your mind.

And if your woman is toxic she will boss you around just because she has an advantage. Stories have been told of men cooking, washing dishes, clothes and doing other house chores for their women.

Am not saying this is wrong, men sometimes help out their spouses out of genuine love but in this case they are just complying out of fear so as to avoid the paycheck duel.

We all wana improve our lives and make sure we live comfortably and sometimes we end up borrowing in order to sustain the life we want for ourselves.

Borrowing money without a clear repayment plan more often than not leads to huge debts. You get into a relationship with all these debts and now your partner will feel the need to help you pay.

I feel like debts should be a private thing, everybody should take care of theirs. Sometimes you drag your partner into your debts and end up ruining the whole relationship.

If and when you hop onto a new entanglement, your woman/man should be aware that you have unpaid dues but you should never make them feel guilty for not helping you pay up.

A lot of young people right now are struggling with loans they borrowed from loan apps. They have less or no income at all and these can lead to disagreements in their entanglements and ultimately breakups.

In an African set up the extended family is ‘part’ of the relationship or rather they force themselves into the picture especially for married couples.

Your boyfriend was still taking care of his siblings when he met you, now that you are dating you feel like he needs to focus more on growing and developing your relationship. There is always that one family member who is a liability and sometimes the siblings are forced to take care of his needs.

You are not happy that your man is still helping his dead beat brother to pay rent, to you that money should have been used on the two of you.

African mothers-in-law have always been portrayed as tough and savage. It's your baby shower and your mother decides to pull up with expensive gifts, now his mum will feel embarrassed because she feels outdone.

Unspoken duels like this often create tension in the family and it can trigger the fiercest of arguments. When you decide to settle down, your relationship should not be run by cartels (outside forces). The two of you should keep your stuff private to avoid petty misunderstandings.

It has been said by many that money is not the key to happiness but I tend to disagree. Money brings a sense of comfortability and security and when you are in a comfortable state of mind, worrying is a thing of the past hence happiness is somehow easy to achieve.

Dough can strengthen or destroy a relationship depending on how it is used. You need to sit down with your partner and have open conversations about money.

Be honest on what you have spent your cash on and if she disagrees with your spending, try and explain to her why that buy was necessary.

Either split the expenditures into half or agree on who is going to cater for what. Nobody should feel like they are taking on too much responsibility.

Money is a sweetener to life but it may as well be the poison.