We have all slept over at a man’s place but have you ever wondered why the man you were dating never called you back again?

According to some men, there are things that turned them off and below are some of the hilarious narrations.

One man narrated how a quickie turned into a nightmare.

‘Kunikunja kama millipede Pekejeng non-stop, na saa hiyo Ni lunch time na ninarudi kazi ya mjengo Hadi supervisor aliniuliza kwani nimepatana na alshabab.’

Juu nakaa mtu amepigwa na Grenade ni vile natembea zigzag nikaa niko kwa Moon…

ogopa utu tusichana tunauzanga githeri na uji mjengo.. Moto wa kuotea mbali.

shocked man

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Another narrated how he took a woman out only for her to ask for pricey stuff on the menu.

‘Nilipeleka ngamia out vitu alikuwa anaitisha nlikuwa tuu nafaint moyo. nikama walikuwa wameongea na waiter wanimalize…nilikuwa tuu na whispers Ngai Ngai tumbo ikajaa maji.’

One boy child was welcomed by some poop stains.

‘Nilimwekelea dogi nikapigwa na butwaa na mafi.’

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Women are known to be neat freaks but one man learnt the hard way that it’s not always the case.

‘Dem alikuja kejani, Ni ka1gb ..tukapika tukakula ikafika saa ya pekejeng kutoa dem nguo aki ameparara matako alafu imekauka kama koroga, nikavumilia..

Dem tulisumbuana 2 hours akiogopa dick iingie pahali yake..hadi nikadhani ni vajo •-• venye akinipea weeeeeeeeh….

D#ck ilimezwa nyweeeeeeeeee hadi nikadhani kwani uko ndani kuna magnet hata sikuendelea akienda hiyo time.’

*Ken added,

‘Alikua na panty ilikua imeandikwa TMK wanaume, sasa mimi nkashindwa niingie team tangatanga,team kieleweke ama team yumbayumba.’

*Steve narrated how stinky the woman was, prompting one to hold their nose while pumping.

‘Beautiful,well dressed but the smell was a no to me.

unapiga nyang’au ukifunga mapua.’

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Just when you think you have heard enough, another man wrote.

‘The year was 9050, hapa ndo nilipatana na dem anaitwa sharon, dem sura nzuri, meno white ka maziwa.

Ikafika siku ya date mimi kama brayo lazima kukula mtu first date, siwezi ongoja pussy na Jesus at the same time.

Mtoto akajileta kejani saa moja jioni amevalia dress ya yellow imetoa haga acha nisiseme mimi uyo niamshika shika akanishow ananyesha na ilikuwa January.’

He added,

‘Nikacheka na nishika nunu kuskia kama kuna pad, shit ilikuwa.

Mimi nikaboeka nikamshow twende tuoge, kufika bafu kutoa pad kumbe alikuwa anafake  pad bado iko safi.

Nilichapachapa iyo kitu mpaka supu ya white ikatoka, since that day siwezi date
dame anasema uongo.’

Shocked man
Shocked man

*Jim narrated how a damsel he had a sexual encounter with had an insatiable appetite in bed.

‘That woman fucked me kutoka 11pm to 4am…

nilikuwa nikimwaga anaiweka kwa mdomo inaamka tena, kazi inaendelea..

My frens I fainted… since that night ata sijawahi tamani kupata na yeye tena. Huyo ni more than Al shabaab.’

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