Mombasa_City

Mombasa is one of the best cities in Kenya. Its several beaches, hotels and different cultures attract both local and international tourists. Known for its funny majini stories, Mombasa-mji wa raha as many refer to it, hosts close to 1.5 million people all led by governor Joho.

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Well, Lee Elly, a resident of Mombasa, has come up with a list of characteristics of people who live in different estates in the coastal city. I thought I should share these interesting features with you. Go through and leave a comment.

1. MTWAPA

All alcoholics live here, in fact, there are more bars in Mtwapa than shops. All prostitutes strippers and single mothers live here. Very safe and best place to invest, 24hr economy.

2. KIEMBENI & MTOPANGA 

All those utahama lini children live here, as for girls, they have 3 or 4 children and they still live with their parents. In short, men from these estates are mama’s boys.

3. MAGONGO & BOMU

Role models here are thugs and conductors, infact, here the more you get arrested the bigger your celebrity status. The more cat shoes and silver chains you wear, the more you gain popularity. Hapa disco and night vigil for matanga za wezi ni daily.

4. BANGLADESH

The home of all counterfeits, they are so good at this that they even made their own currency…. BANGLA Pesa.

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5. MARIKITI

You can buy anything you want here, they are so good they can clone your mother as long as you have cash. People here are totally unhygienic, nyama hushikwa na miguu ikikatwa, mate yanarusharushwa ovyo ovyo.

6. KISAUNI

Hooligans, fanatics, clever fools, idol worship, ujinga, ushamba any thing negative resides here. Hapa kila mtu anajuwa ‘rights’ zake. No security at all, ukiwa hapa lazima ulijue jiji.

7. BOMBOLULU

Home of mnazi, and very tight security as all the neighbours are in the security industry – ni masoja. Equivalent to Nairobi’s Kibera and Kawangware.

8. SABASABA

Student centre …..cheap brothels everywhere.

9. LIKONI

They all work in Shimanzi, industrial area of Mombasa.

10. NYALI, VOK, MAWENI, FRERETOWN

Home of pretenders, con artists and fake personalities. Hapa kizungu ni mingi na mtu akiingia kwa nyumba anaongea Kiswahili ama mother tongue. Equivalent to Nairobi’s Buruburu, Lang’ata and South B.

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11. SHANZU

Women here own almost everything and each homestead has a relative overseas.

12. CHANGAMWE

Breakdown business is the main thing, for every 5 vehicles 3 are breakdown,

13. MISHOMORONI

Home of real criminals, almost everyone is a thief. Hapa ndio kuna watu wote wa bara, chang’aa, busaa na bangi kwa wingi.

14. BAMBURI

Home to audio and video music producers, deejays, and models, video vixens, mara socialites also live here. Also home to wale wasanii hawana any au hawajielewi. Kazi yao ni shiisha, mogoks na miraa. Kwani ni Ruaka?

15. TUDOR  

Home to wale watu wamesota kama students wa Technical university, all the flashiest matatu rides in town reside from here.

What about the estates where rich people stay? Watu wangu wa Mombasa mpo?

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