The Ocha Committee has sat down and come up with a list of things that people from Nairobi and the Diaspora should adhere to when they visit their various shags this festive season.

They have sounded a warning to you uppity folks, saying y'all should check your pride at the bougainvillea fence before you walk into your grandma's hut. They know that the cars you are driving have been hired for the week. So, don't act like you are better than them.

They know that the cars you are driving have been hired for the week. So don't act like you are better than them.

Here is a list of rules to live by.

Msipoint kuku ya kuchinjwa na keys za gari ndio tujue mlicome na ride.

Shopping center za ocha hatuendi na magari ...we walk ama tunatumia Akala/Okala so pliz acheni magari zipumue.

Kindly, kingereza kila msee anajua spare us your fake twengs and wengs.

Sherehe za reserve sisi huscramble kwa laini ya food so hizo viatu zenyu za white na heels sijui itakuwaje.

Church za mashinani hatubebi Tablets na Ipads coz ya Bible apps tunabeba Bibilia so mtapitia hapo posta karibu Nakumatt mbuy Bible za 800.

Finally stop pretending hamjui viroboto, mende, nzi...etc. We know you know them because pale Afya Center ziko, na ni vitu hata mko nazo nai, mmmchew.

Mkikuja ocha msianze kuweka sukari kwa mursik hadi ikue Yorgat kunyweni hivyo.

Uku ocha toilet tunatumia gazeti ama matawi sasa mjue vile mtajisot sisi tumezoea hivyo.

Kuoga uku ni mpaka mtoni sasa maringo ya kutaka maji itoke juu ya nyumba ama sijui wapi mtangoja mpaka inyeshe, hope hapo tuko pamoja kama Jubilee.

Hapa ugali ni daily bread hakuna mkate.

Maneno ya kuitana beb msilete ocha. Pris.