5 signs of toxic masculinity in relationships

Signs of toxic masculinity shown by men in relationships

Piece by: MILLICENT ATIENO
Lifestyle

•  Toxic masculinity is a set of attitudes and ways of behaving stereotypically associated with or expected of men, regarded as having a negative impact on men and on society as a whole.

• Men can show these traits without realizing it since these toxic standards of masculinity are so deeply ingrained in the way we perceive "masculinity".

A man in the mirror.
Image: Jurien Huggins on Unsplash.

Toxic masculinity is a set of attitudes and ways of behaving stereotypically associated with or expected of men, regarded as having a negative impact on men and on society as a whole.

It's also a concept used to define unhealthy and traditional characteristics or attributes associated with men.

Toxic masculinity can be damaging in close relationships, especially in romantic relationships.

It can interfere with how you relate to your partner, how you express your emotions to your partner, and whether or not you even allow yourself to feel a certain emotion.

But toxic masculinity doesn't always lead to violence, it can show up in nice ways in everyday interactions.

It's not necessarily intentional. Men can show these traits without realizing it since these toxic standards of masculinity are so deeply ingrained in the way we perceive "masculinity".

Below are signs of toxic masculinity in a relationship;

1. Financial Control

This is one of the more cunning signs of toxic masculinity in a relationship.

Everyone is entitled to their money, especially if they worked for it. However, when your partner constantly takes charge of the money, you may want to pay closer attention. 

It is okay if both of you have agreed for your relationship to run that way. If he constantly controls all the money, makes all major financial decisions including how much you save and invest as a couple, and never seeks your opinions while at it, he might be toxic. 

A healthy relationship is one in which the opinions of everyone can be considered and respected when it comes to how money is used. You should have a say in what you spend your money on, especially if you’re earning as well.

2. Frequent anger outbursts

This is another sign that shows you’re with a toxic partner.

If he has a wild temper and always does or says things that keep you uncomfortable when he is angry, re-assess your relationship. 

As humans, we all have emotions. It is okay to get angry or feel hurt when people step on your toes. However, what makes you a rational being is your ability to rein in your emotions and keep yourself under check even when you’re annoyed. 

Evaluate how your partner behaves when he gets angry. Does he throw things around or get violent? Does he say things he would end up apologizing for afterward? These may be signs of toxic masculinity on display. 

3. Being biased in gender roles

Another glaring sign of toxic masculinity in a relationship is when your partner hangs onto preconceived gender roles in the relationship.

He believes it is his responsibility to work and earn for the family while you stay home and take care of things. 

Be wary if you have to deal with all the house chores by yourself, even though you work. Also, be careful if you’re with a partner who wouldn’t allow you to get some extra hands at home but still refuses to lift a finger. 

4. Evading arguments by saying "it's a guy thing"

Is there really anything known as a guy thing as many men would claim? Or is it just a stereotypical notion that men like to believe something sacred? Whatever it is, it's just another form of toxic masculinity that needs to be discussed and rooted out.

Most men in every relationship use this to evade arguments and conversations that are necessary.

5. Winning arguments

Winning and losing are two sides of the same coin and although, in terms of love and relationship, the two don’t really matter, for a man who is suffering from the complex of toxic masculinity, it is all about the win.

As against their women, there’s no chance that they’ll accept defeat, instead, they’ll go to an extraordinary mile to prove their point, to which their partners might just agree.

The opinions expressed in this article are the writer's own. Do you agree or disagree

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