• Some abusers never know when to stop, and it takes the effort of the victim to unchain themselves from the toxic relationship or marriage. 

in a file photo
The late gospel singer Osinachi in a file photo
Image: Courtesy

“Freedom is never given voluntarily by the oppressor; it must be demanded by the oppressed," are the words of Martin Luther King Jr in 1993. 

A number of people have found themselves in toxic relationships and marriages. Some have/ are being assaulted physically, verbally abused, or emotionally abused. 

And as the scholar puts it, some abusers never know when to stop, and it takes the effort of the victim to unchain themselves from the toxic relationship or marriage. 

Recently, Nigerian gospel singer Osinachi Nwachukwu died over what is said to be domestic abuse. 

Reports indicate that some people close to the gospel singer were aware that she was being abused by her husband, but she would still hide it from the public. 

But why do people still stay in toxic relationships/marriages? 

For the money

There are victims of domestic abuse who would rather stay with their toxic partners for as long as they are provided with money. 

This happens mostly when one is used to a certain lifestyle, that is funded by the abusive partner. 

For the children

Some women have confessed to staying in abusive marriages for the children. This group is either scared that their children will lack certain things if the marriage ends. Or would rather suffer in the hands of the abusive spouse and make sure their children fully grow up with their father fully present.

What would people say?

There is a group that fears walking out of a relationship or marriage for fear of what outsiders will say about them. 

Marriage ni kuvumilia 

This type believes that violence or abuse is normal in all marriages and they should just put up with it. No, it is not. 

He/she will change 

This type will even 'dedicate the abusers to God' hoping that the power of prayer will transform them. This is not always the case as some behaviours can not be salvaged by prayers.

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