This week I have had a prolonged back and forth with one of my female colleagues. Our topic of discussion-men being intimidated by women they would want to date.

My female colleague believes that intimidation among the male species in the dating field is a big reason why some women aren't lucky in love.

While I do agree that intimidation can be an issue among some men when it comes to dating, I believe that some women use it as a convenient excuse for why they aren't successful in their dating lives.

Please hear me out.

The script normally starts out like this. A woman has everything going for her ( career, looks, body, family,  friend's circle), but unfortunately, she just can't quite keep the man that she wants.

This trend is increasingly happening among many modern women, with sadly many of them not understanding why.

Then when the lady seats with her girlfriends to do a prognosis on what is going on with her love life, a few reasons normally come up, most normally blaming the male species.

One of those reasons is likely that a man the girlfriend was into was intimidated.

While it might be true that some men can be intimidated by your awesome self ( and why would you want to date him anyway?), there are three reasons that the intimidation card is thrown in and doesn't much apply.

They are; 

1. The man you fancy doesn't fancy you

There are times that a woman wants a man but the man just isn't into her. Because rejection can be hard to deal with, some women would rather say he was intimidated than admit that he just 'wasn't into her'.

It is surely easier on the ego.

2. The man doesn't like your behaviour/attitude

This is something many men talk about among themselves but would rarely admit in public. Most men fancy a fit, feminine and friendly woman.

But with the advent of boss babes, slay queens, queens and slay mamas, these women are increasingly becoming a rarity.

Honest men will tell you that aggressive and confrontational energy are common traits among the women named above.

Those traits are great for growth in the cooperate and business sector but are a big turn off for men looking for healthy long-term relationships. 

So while you might be all that to you and your friends, that man you want sees you as a potential headache that he would rather avoid. 

So your mind sees his refusing to date/engage you as intimidation by him instead of him rejecting what you are.

3. Some women are just dating out of their weight class

Just because a man slept with you doesn't mean he will date you. There are many high-status men who will sleep with unattractive women in the cold of the night but won't deign to be seen with them in the light of day.

Then when those women ask for a commitment, the man normally refuses. Sadly these men will never be able to give those women the truth, "That they were a slump-buster or a one-night stand" ( How can they?).

So they leave these women with a plethora of questions as to why the match didn't work out. Intimidation, sadly, can be a very, very convenient crutch in the mind of a hurting woman.

But what do I know...

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